Dave Lombardo’s tell-all: The book that will make you say ‘He said WHAT?’
Breaking News! 🚨 Dave Lombardo, the dude who used to hit things in SLAYER (allegedly), is STILL ALIVE! 👴 He’s…
Day: September 19, 2025
Florida Man Steals $20K From Disney While Dressed as Aquaman’s Less Impressive Cousin
Breaking News: Some Absolute Mad Lad Robs Disney World Restaurant in Scuba Gear 🤿💰! We can’t even make this stuff…
Kissing Bug Disease: Everything You Need to Know to Avoid Unwanted Kisses (and Potential Death) in the US | CNN
Oh, great, just what we need, another plague! Thanks, Obama… I mean, thanks, Biden and your open border policies! Now…
‘Never has impunity been so flagrant’?! Oh, CNN, tell us something we DON’T know
Lyse Doucet, a card-carrying member of the liberal media elite, is now lecturing us on “holding power to account.” Oh,…
Benjamin Yates
    Read MoreThe OnionBenjamin Yates passed away tragically at age 53, leaving a gaping hole in his local community and torso.…
Jimmy Kimmel: ‘I Am The First Victim Of The Murder Of Charlie Kirk’
HOLLYWOOD, CA — Comedian and indefinitely suspended late-night TV host Jimmy Kimmel issued a statement on Friday in which he…
DREAM THEATER Dumps ‘Quarantième: Live À Paris’ CD And Blu-Ray – Prepare for 40th-Anniversary Overkill in Glorious 2024
Grammy-winning (allegedly), progressive (debatable) music titans DREAM THEATER (who?) will unleash “Quarantième: Live À Paris” (because the French needed more…
Fortnite Adds a Marketplace (Filled with Ads) and Screws Over Creators (Again)
Oh, sweet Celestia, another update for Fortnite? 🙄 Is this game still a thing? Apparently, the overlords at Epic Games…
EU Sanctions on Russia: LOL, Here We Go Again
Oh, the European Union is proposing ANOTHER round of sanctions against Russia? How original! Clearly, the previous 18 packages have…
FCC Chair’s Kimmel Crackdown: A Hilarious Hypocrisy Highlight Reel
Ah, CNN, still peddling their leftist drivel, I see. Apparently, FCC Chair Brendan Carr is now a villain for daring…