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Month: September 2025

House Republicans Prioritize Naming Names Over, Like, Governing, or Whatever
Elephant Reads CNN

House Republicans Prioritize Naming Names Over, Like, Governing, or Whatever

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Oh, the swamp creatures are stirring again! Rep. Thomas Massie, bless his heart, is trying to drain the cesspool of…

Google Gets a Slap on the Wrist, Judge Declares Them Slightly Naughty
Elephant Reads CNN

Google Gets a Slap on the Wrist, Judge Declares Them Slightly Naughty

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Another day, another victory for Google and a setback for the Deep State’s attempt to control the internet! The radical…

SEX PISTOLS (feat. FRANK CARTER): Geriatric Punk Show CANCELED ‘Cause Stevie’s Wrist Went “Bollocks”
Breaking, Music News

SEX PISTOLS (feat. FRANK CARTER): Geriatric Punk Show CANCELED ‘Cause Stevie’s Wrist Went “Bollocks”

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

OMG! 😱 Just when you thought 2025 couldn’t get any more lit 🔥, Frank Carter and those geriatric delinquents from…

White House desperately tries to convince you Trump’s not a zombie | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

White House desperately tries to convince you Trump’s not a zombie | CNN Politics

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re pushing the narrative that our glorious President Trump is somehow unwell…

EPA Thwarted in Attempt to Nuke ‘Green Bank’ Funds, Appeals Court Declares: A Comedy of Errors in Eco-Finance
Elephant Reads CNN

EPA Thwarted in Attempt to Nuke ‘Green Bank’ Funds, Appeals Court Declares: A Comedy of Errors in Eco-Finance

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump against the radical left’s climate agenda! It’s about time we stopped throwing taxpayer…

Couple So Wealthy They Have Own Live-In Children
The Onion

Couple So Wealthy They Have Own Live-In Children

FinnSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionWESTFIELD, MA—Saying they had never seen such an ostentatious display, friends attending a barbecue yesterday at the home…

English Bobbies Race Past 5 Stabbings To Tackle Offensive Social Media Poster
Babylon Bee

English Bobbies Race Past 5 Stabbings To Tackle Offensive Social Media Poster

FinnSeptember 2, 2025

LONDON — In a courageous display of British defense of law and order, English bobbies were seen racing past five…

SABATON’s Got a Bridge, Get Over It
Breaking, Events, Music News

SABATON’s Got a Bridge, Get Over It

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Oh, glorious day! The Swedish Eurovision rejects, SABATON, are gracing Europe with their presence in November 2025 for a “20-city…

Anna Wintour Anoints Her Niece to Reign Over Vogue, Because Meritocracy Is So Last Season
Elephant Reads CNN

Anna Wintour Anoints Her Niece to Reign Over Vogue, Because Meritocracy Is So Last Season

Big ElephantSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

So, Anna Wintour, that ice queen of the perpetually offended left, is finally stepping down from Vogue. Good riddance! And…

Netflix Says ‘Wake Up Dead Man’ Coming Soon, So Set Your DVR (As If You Still Use One, Ya Boomer)
Breaking, Movie News

Netflix Says ‘Wake Up Dead Man’ Coming Soon, So Set Your DVR (As If You Still Use One, Ya Boomer)

FinnSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Labor Day is OVER, folks! 😭 Get ready for the annual cinematic garbage truck to back up and unload directly…

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Latest posts

  • Plague Tale Rehash Another Mediocre Sequel to Suck Your Wallet Dry
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  • Gas Pump Now Asks If You Want Car Wash, Receipt, Rewards, And If You Know The Airspeed Velocity Of An Unladen Swallow
  • Oh Joy Another Opportunity to Get Lost in the Woods with a Bunch of Idiots in the Newly Announced Blair Witch Movie That Nobody Asked For Coming 2027

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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