Oh, look, another “eco-thriller”! 🙄 Because we haven’t had enough of those, right? This one’s about rhinos, because apparently, pandas and polar bears are SO last decade. And guess what? It’s narrated by Tom Hardy, because apparently, even A-listers need a paycheck. Expect lots of dramatic whispering and concerned facial expressions. 🎬
So, there are only 6000 black rhinos left, and this guy Kiloku, a wildlife ranger (because we needed a hero, obviously🦸), is on a mission! A mission to protect the rhinos! Against all odds! Cue dramatic music! 🎶 Apparently, 5% of these majestic beasts get poached every year (thanks, humans! 😠). But Kiloku’s team? They’re the real MVPs! 💪 They haven’t lost a rhino in, like, 10 years! But uh oh! They’re running out of space! The rhinos might start fighting each other! It’s like a real-life rhino battle royale! 🦏💥🦏
Enter Rita, the recently qualified ranger! She’s here to help! Together, Kiloku and Rita are launching an “audacious” plan! They’re moving a group of rhinos to a new “safe haven”! It’s only 60 miles away! What could possibly go wrong? 🤷♂️ It’s a “potentially deadly mission”! But they’re willing to risk their lives! For the rhinos! Because, you know, that’s what heroes do! 🤩 Plus, it’ll “further Kenya’s incredible ongoing conservation efforts”! Everyone wins! (Except maybe the bandits. 😈)
This “hard-hitting, authentic feature” (as if we didn’t have enough of those 🙄) is based on “four years of living and working alongside Kenya’s conservancy community”! So you know it’s legit! 👌 It’s all about the “daily struggles” of those who risk their lives for biodiversity! (Get the tissues ready! 😭) And it “gives voice to those on the other side of the armed conflict”! (Because apparently, even poachers deserve a sob story. 🙄) It’s “timely and urgent”! Because “banditry violence spirals out of control”! And the demand for rhino horn is “ever higher”! (Thanks, traditional medicine! 🤦♀️)
Rhino is in cinemas 28 November 2025. Don’t miss it! (Or do. I’m not your mom. 🤷♀️)
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
