🚨 ATTENTION, CITIZENS OF EARTH 🚨: Elsewhere demands your soul… I mean, VALID GOVERNMENT-ISSUED ID (no expired ones, we see you, college students) for entry! Passports must be physical, not a screenshot of your dog in sunglasses. Read the rules or face the wrath of the bouncer! 😈
Elsewhere claims to be “inclusive” while enforcing a zero-tolerance policy for fun, basically. Shows change without notice because chaos is the main act. Membership gets you to skip lines and free plus-ones, because capitalism. Full FAQ at www.elsewherebrooklyn.com if you dare. 🤡
Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.
Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.
Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤
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