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Day: January 6, 2026

Babylon Bee

Awkward: Biden Forced To Pay Trump The $25 Million Bounty For Capturing Maduro

FinnJanuary 6, 2026

    WILMINGTON, DE — With the successful military operation to topple the authoritarian Venezuelan government, former President Joe Biden was…

Build Your Dumb Network into a Sassy AI Overlord (Without the Robot Uprising… Probably)
Events

Build Your Dumb Network into a Sassy AI Overlord (Without the Robot Uprising… Probably)

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 6, 2026

🚨 Desperate for a job? Learn to make AI do your networking homework while you nap! 🤖💤 📅 April 29,…

Lost Jan. 6 Rioter Still Searching Capitol Building For Mike Pence
The Onion

Lost Jan. 6 Rioter Still Searching Capitol Building For Mike Pence

FinnJanuary 6, 2026

       WASHINGTON—As he wandered aimlessly through the halls of the U.S. Capitol building, lost Jan. 6 rioter Alex Morris told…

Babylon Bee

Parenting Tip: Limit Your Child To Just 4 Hours Of Brain Rot Slop Each Day

FinnJanuary 6, 2026

    U.S. — Experts are now recommending parents limit their children to just four hours of brain-rotting slop each day…

BILLY GIBBONS Reveals ZZ TOP Almost Sold Their Souls for a Million Bucks and a Razor
Breaking, Music News

BILLY GIBBONS Reveals ZZ TOP Almost Sold Their Souls for a Million Bucks and a Razor

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 6, 2026January 6, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Gillette Offers ZZ TOP $1 Million EACH to Shave Beards, Billy Gibbons Says “No Thanks, We Like Looking…

Watch Rachel McAdams and Dylan O’Brien in the new trailer for Sam Raimi’s Send Help – Because After The Last Horror Movie, We Definitely Need More Nightmares
Breaking, Movie News

Watch Rachel McAdams and Dylan O’Brien in the new trailer for Sam Raimi’s Send Help – Because After The Last Horror Movie, We Definitely Need More Nightmares

FinnJanuary 6, 2026January 6, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Rachel McAdams and Dylan O’Brien Stranded on Island, Hollywood Calls It ‘Art’ 🚨 🏝️😂 In a shocking turn…

Going Hands-On With ROMEO IS A DEAD MAN—Death And Taxes: Because Nothing Says Fun Like Paying Your Last Bill
Breaking, Games News

Going Hands-On With ROMEO IS A DEAD MAN—Death And Taxes: Because Nothing Says Fun Like Paying Your Last Bill

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 6, 2026January 6, 2026

Move over, William Shakespeare—because Romeo isn’t just dead, he’s been cybernetically resurrected, weaponized, and shoved into a multiversal soap opera…

James Gunn’s Supergirl: Where the Only Thing Flying Higher Than Her Cape Is His Ego
Breaking, Movie News

James Gunn’s Supergirl: Where the Only Thing Flying Higher Than Her Cape Is His Ego

FinnJanuary 6, 2026January 6, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: James Gunn Just Compared Supergirl to Guardians of the Galaxy, Which Means We’re All About to Get Space…

California GOP Congressman Doug LaMalfa Passes at 65—Still Waiting for Him to Vote on That Infrastructure Bill
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

California GOP Congressman Doug LaMalfa Passes at 65—Still Waiting for Him to Vote on That Infrastructure Bill

Big ElephantJanuary 6, 2026January 6, 2026

Another Republican Congressman Checks Out Early—Coincidence or Communist Conspiracy? In a shocking turn of events that has left the liberal…

A Killer Is Still on the Run a Week After Shooting a Dentist and His Wife with Their Kids Nearby—This Video Could Give Clues
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

A Killer Is Still on the Run a Week After Shooting a Dentist and His Wife with Their Kids Nearby—This Video Could Give Clues

Big ElephantJanuary 6, 2026January 6, 2026

Democrats’ “Safe Neighborhood” Experiment Ends in Bloodbath as Mystery Hooded Figure Executes Dentist Couple – Because of Course It Did…

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  • Cringe: Out-Of-Touch Company Posts Pride Logo Like It’s 2014 Or Something
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Finn October 8, 2024
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Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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