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Month: January 2026

Trump officials spot fraud in their morning coffee, everywhere they look—here’s the wild truth
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump officials spot fraud in their morning coffee, everywhere they look—here’s the wild truth

Big ElephantJanuary 12, 2026January 12, 2026

Trump Admin Declares War on Government Waste After TikTok Star Exposes Massive Fraud in Minnesota Daycare Scandal In what can…

Bob Weir of Grateful Dead Finally Gives Up the Ghost at 78
Breaking, Music News

Bob Weir of Grateful Dead Finally Gives Up the Ghost at 78

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 12, 2026January 12, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Bobby Weir Finally Checks Out After 78 Years of Confusing Audiences With That One Chord 🚨 In a…

VIO-LENCE Is Covering Punk So They Can Procrastinate Writing Real Songs—Killian Says He’s Not In A Hurry To Be Relevant
Breaking, Music News

VIO-LENCE Is Covering Punk So They Can Procrastinate Writing Real Songs—Killian Says He’s Not In A Hurry To Be Relevant

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 12, 2026January 12, 2026

🎸🔥 In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except everyone with an internet connection), VIO-LENCE…

GOP Sen. Mullin Claims ICE Shooting Was Just a Misunderstanding—Says ‘Everyone Was Just Really Nervous’
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Sen. Mullin Claims ICE Shooting Was Just a Misunderstanding—Says ‘Everyone Was Just Really Nervous’

Big ElephantJanuary 12, 2026January 12, 2026

Democrats and Fake News Cry Havoc Over ICE Shooting While Ignoring Real Border Crisis In a stunning display of hypocrisy…

The US is taking over Venezuela and eyeing Greenland like a real estate flip show — and somehow the Dow is still dreaming of 50k
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The US is taking over Venezuela and eyeing Greenland like a real estate flip show — and somehow the Dow is still dreaming of 50k

Big ElephantJanuary 12, 2026January 12, 2026

Dow Hits 50K Amid Chaos: Trump’s Venezuela Victory, Greenland Threat & Ice Moms Spark Stock Market Orgy In a stunning…

Suspect nabbed after torching Jackson’s last synagogue—only 60 years after the KKK lost their monopoly on bad PR
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Suspect nabbed after torching Jackson’s last synagogue—only 60 years after the KKK lost their monopoly on bad PR

Big ElephantJanuary 12, 2026January 12, 2026

Leftist Arsonists Strike Again: Mississippi Synagogue Burns in Latest Attack on Religious Freedom Another day, another act of domestic terrorism…

Study Finds Crows Able To Recognize Faces Had Work Done
The Onion

Study Finds Crows Able To Recognize Faces Had Work Done

FinnJanuary 12, 2026

       ITHACA, NY—Revealing the bird species has the capacity to detect botox, fillers, and even laser hair removal, a study…

NAPALM DEATH Is Recording Demos For Band’s Seventeenth Studio Album (And The Sound Of Your Soul Screaming Is Inspiration)
Breaking, Music News

NAPALM DEATH Is Recording Demos For Band’s Seventeenth Studio Album (And The Sound Of Your Soul Screaming Is Inspiration)

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 11, 2026January 11, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: NAPALM DEATH ENTERS STUDIO TO RECORD ALBUM #17, WORLD STILL NOT READY FOR THE AURAL ASSAULT 🚨 💥…

2026 Innovations in Regulatory Science Summit
Live

2026 Innovations in Regulatory Science Summit

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 11, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Silicon Valley Brainiacs to Gather at UCSF for Annual “How to Get Drugs Approved Faster” Convention 🚨 The…

Golden Globes Glow-Up: Celebs Stumble Into Skybar to Recover from Their Own Speeches
Live

Golden Globes Glow-Up: Celebs Stumble Into Skybar to Recover from Their Own Speeches

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 11, 2026

✨ 83rd Annual Golden Globe Awards After Party at Skybar ✨Black Tie Gala ·| Red Carpet | Celebrity DJs 📅…

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  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald Trump draws 45000 to packed speech with huge television audience

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
January 2026
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