Apple Unveils the “MacBook Neo” — Because Who Needs Money Anyway?
Apple has officially decided to stop pretending their laptops are made of unicorn tears and solid gold, announcing the MacBook…
Month: March 2026
Border Patrol Checkpoint Chase Ends in Texas with Suspect Getting a One-Way Ticket to the Afterlife, Officials Report
Breaking: Another Liberal Triggered Snowflake Meets His Match at the Border! In a shocking turn of events that will no…
IRON MAIDEN: Gridiron Glory Forces Metal Mayhem to Move, Leaving L.A. Fans in a Headbanging Frenzy Over Football’s Bold Field Takeover
In a shocking turn of events that has fans more confused than a bassist trying to count in 7/8 time,…
Two Tiny Travelers Found in Luggage: Cleveland’s Latest Overbooked Adventure
Cleveland’s ‘Surprise Suitcases’ – Another Mystery the FBI Is Probably Too Busy With to Solve Well folks, it’s another fine…
‘Lanterns’ Trailer Teases the First Green Lantern TV Show — Or Just Another Lantern Parade?
Oh great, another superhero show where the heroes barely use their powers and mostly just glare at each other in…
America Graciously Converts 20 Iranian Warships Into New Submarines
PERSIAN GULF — In a sign of enormous good will, American forces helpfully converted 20 Iranian warships into submarines.…
Kim Jong Un Can’t Believe Daughter Already Executing Boys
PYONGYANG—Tears welling in his eyes as he remarked upon how quickly things change, North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong…
To Save Time, Iran Appoints Supreme Leader Who Is Already Dead
TEHRAN — Following the death of Ayatollah Ali Khamenei and a significant portion of the nation’s leadership, the Assembly…
US Submarine Sinks Iranian Warship in International Waters, Breaking WWII Silence Like a Boss
Libtards Shaking as Trump’s Sub Torpedoes Iranian Ship! So, here we go again! The Deep State’s favorite puppet, Pete Hegseth,…
Pentagon Cuts Ties With Anthropic Over AI Safeguards
President Trump blacklisted AI company Anthropic after it rebuffed the Pentagon’s demands to lift all safeguards on the military’s…