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Day: May 13, 2026

ALL SHALL PERISH Still Alive Somehow Announces North American Tour To Celebrate 20 Years Of Screaming Into The Void With ‘The Price Of Existence’
Breaking News: ALL SHALL PERISH is Back and Ready to Perish the Competition 🤘
Breaking, Events, Music News

ALL SHALL PERISH Still Alive Somehow Announces North American Tour To Celebrate 20 Years Of Screaming Into The Void With ‘The Price Of Existence’

Chord F. DiscordMay 13, 2026May 13, 2026

The Northern California extreme metallers are embarking on a “The Price Of Existence 20 Year Anniversary” tour, because who doesn’t…

Because What James Bond Really Needed Was a Pair of Dorky Smart Glasses to Go with His Martini and Exploding Pen
Breaking, Games News

Because What James Bond Really Needed Was a Pair of Dorky Smart Glasses to Go with His Martini and Exploding Pen

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 13, 2026May 13, 2026

Get ready for the most epic spy adventure of the century! 🕵️‍♂️🔥 Even Realities has just announced that their sleek…

Fortnite Is Totally Not Desperate At All And Is Bringing 4 Iconic Overwatch Heroes To Battle Island This Week Because Clearly They Ran Out Of Original Ideas
Breaking News: Fortnite and Overwatch are Finally Together, and We're Not Crying, You're Crying 🤣🎉
Breaking, Games News

Fortnite Is Totally Not Desperate At All And Is Bringing 4 Iconic Overwatch Heroes To Battle Island This Week Because Clearly They Ran Out Of Original Ideas

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 13, 2026May 13, 2026

After months of rumors and speculation, Fortnite and Overwatch have finally revealed that four OG Overwatch heroes are coming to…

How sweets 🥧 for tourists are made in India 🇮🇳
Videos

How sweets 🥧 for tourists are made in India 🇮🇳

Chuck B. BallsyMay 13, 2026

Candy 🤣—with the taste of the floor? Ever tried it? Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical…

Babylon Bee

Like Genghis Khan Gazing Over His Empire, Man Watches As Fixed Sprinkler No Longer Waters Driveway

FinnMay 13, 2026

    OGDEN, UT — As the great Khan once stood admiring the vast reaches of his empire, so local man…

Babylon Bee

BREAKING: Wife Seems Upset; UPDATE: False Alarm — She Said ‘I’m Fine’

FinnMay 13, 2026

    AKRON, OH — Curtis Whitaker noticed some subtle differences in his wife, Janie. Her face seemed on the verge…

Another corrupt foreign loser tries fleeing justice like a coward
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Another corrupt foreign loser tries fleeing justice like a coward

Big ElephantMay 13, 2026May 13, 2026

The so-called “experts” are at it again, trying to besmirch the good name of our great President Donald Trump with…

Fake news worries about war and hantavirus not winning
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fake news worries about war and hantavirus not winning

Big ElephantMay 13, 2026May 13, 2026

It’s absolutely hilarious to see the fake news media still trying to cling to their failed narratives about our great…

Liberal Texas city screws up, pays off innocent guys bigtime somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal Texas city screws up, pays off innocent guys bigtime somehow

Big ElephantMay 13, 2026May 13, 2026

It’s 2026 and the greatest president this country has ever seen, Donald Trump, is still crushing it in the White…

CIA Under Fire For Arming Group Of Rowdy 7-Year-Olds
The Onion

CIA Under Fire For Arming Group Of Rowdy 7-Year-Olds

FinnMay 13, 2026

       LANGLEY, VA—In the wake of an operation condemned by critics as a reckless provocation that fails to heed the…

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  • SKILLET To Finally Release Something New Because You’ve All Been Clamoring For More Of The Same Old Stuff In July; ‘Comatose: 20 Years, Still Screaming Tour’ To Launch This Fall Because They Still Can’t Sell Out A Decent Venue
  • Trump vows to punish scum who trashed our great nation’s pool

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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