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Month: July 2026

‘Hunt For Gollum’ Director Andy Serkis Defends Film’s All–Andy Serkis Cast
The Onion

‘Hunt For Gollum’ Director Andy Serkis Defends Film’s All–Andy Serkis Cast

FinnJuly 17, 2026

       LONDON—Responding to concerns about the lack of diversity in his upcoming project, The Lord Of The Rings: The Hunt For…

ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: President Donald J Trump demands Save America Act passage
The Orange Oracle

ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: President Donald J Trump demands Save America Act passage

Milton TruthwellJuly 17, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, THE ORANGE ORACLE, also known as President Donald J. Trump, has issued another transmission…

Chili’s Refocuses On Being Chili’s For Some Reason
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Chili’s Refocuses On Being Chili’s For Some Reason

Big ElephantJuly 17, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Chili’s, the casual dining chain, is going back to its roots…

AIPAC Uses Obama’s Face Without Permission Because Why Not
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

AIPAC Uses Obama’s Face Without Permission Because Why Not

Big ElephantJuly 17, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like the Democratic Senate primary in Michigan is getting…

Nation Finally Tires Of Renovation Debt And DIY Disasters
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Nation Finally Tires Of Renovation Debt And DIY Disasters

Big ElephantJuly 17, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems that fixer-uppers are no longer the bargain they used…

Ozzy Gets Entire Day In Birmingham Because Thats Not Enough Already
Breaking, Music News

Ozzy Gets Entire Day In Birmingham Because Thats Not Enough Already

Chord F. DiscordJuly 17, 2026July 17, 2026

Breaking News: Birmingham Declares “Ozzy Day” and We’re Not Sure If We Should Be Excited or Concerned 🤔 In a…

Gene Simmons needs your money again in 2027
Breaking, Music News

Gene Simmons needs your money again in 2027

Chord F. DiscordJuly 17, 2026July 17, 2026

Oh boy, are you in for a treat or what? 🤯 The “Gene Simmons Legends Of Rock Expo” has been…

Six Feet Under in Raleigh, NC (07/16/2026)
Videos

Six Feet Under in Raleigh, NC (07/16/2026)

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 17, 2026

American death metal band from Tampa, Florida Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The…

Trump’s Base Suddenly Realizes He’s Still Trump
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Base Suddenly Realizes He’s Still Trump

Big ElephantJuly 17, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Donald Trump’s supposed sway over his base, and I’ve got to…

Nolan Reboots Ancient Myth Because Original Ideas Are Clearly Exhausted
Breaking, Movie News

Nolan Reboots Ancient Myth Because Original Ideas Are Clearly Exhausted

FinnJuly 17, 2026July 17, 2026

Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey: Because What the World Really Needed Was a 3-Hour Epic Poem Adaptation In a bold move…

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  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald Trump posts on Truth Social from July 20 2026

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Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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