ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump’s energy security plans deemed vital to western future
The Orange Oracle has spoken, and the world is once again abuzz with the latest TRANSMISSION from the esteemed Commander…
Month: July 2026
Lawmakers Get to Keep Trading Stocks Because Who Needs Ethics Anyway
The House has passed a bill to add new restrictions on lawmakers trading stocks, and I’m just sitting here sipping…
Democrats Set Sights On Nevada And South Carolina Again Somehow
I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama in the Democratic National Committee, folks. It seems like Nevada…
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Meta Off The Hook Again Because Teen Had Better Things
Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a lawsuit against Meta, and I just can’t help but think that…
House greenlights Iran war funds because diplomacy is overrated
The House of Representatives has taken the first step towards funding President Donald Trump’s war with Iran, and I’m sipping…
Ben Folds Slams Trumps Kennedy Center Power Grab
Ben Folds testified before a bicameral congressional forum on Tuesday, July 21st, arguing that President Donald Trump’s takeover of the…
Kelly Osbourne Opens Up About Life After Ozzy’s Passing
On the one-year anniversary of Ozzy Osbourne’s passing, his daughter Kelly Osbourne has shared a heartfelt message about grief and…
Senate Still Somehow Struggles With Russia Sanctions Bill
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The bipartisan Russia sanctions bill that GOP Sen. Lindsey Graham championed…
Conan OBrien Reveals Bizarre New Look
Conan O’Brien’s iconic swooping bangs, a part of the Team Coco logo, have gone missing this week in favor of…