In a shocking turn of events that has left the music world reeling (or not), Evan Stanley and Nick Simmons, sons of KISS icons Paul and Gene Simmons, respectively, have joined forces to create a new band called STANLEY SIMMONS. Because, you know, the world was just missing a band with that exact name. I mean, who needs originality when you can just use your famous dads’ last names, right? 🙄
The duo recently sat down with the Preston & Steve show on 93.3 WMMR to address the “controversy” surrounding their supposed nepotism. Evan Stanley said, “I think a lot of times, and look, I’m guilty of it myself. You hear someone’s son or daughter of so-and-so, and you kind of write ’em off because I think often when you’re raised a certain way, you get used to a lifestyle and you like that lifestyle more than you like the craft that provided it.” Wow, what a profound observation. I bet nobody has ever thought of that before. 🤔
The Birth of STANLEY SIMMONS
So, how did this dynamic duo come to be? Well, it all started with an impromptu Instagram reel in December 2024, because what’s more rock ‘n’ roll than a social media post? 📱 By February 2025, they were writing songs together, and the rest, as they say, is history. Or, you know, just another example of famous kids doing famous kid things. 🤷♂️
Nick Simmons chimed in, “And we were doing it when nobody was watching.” Oh, wow, I’m so impressed. You guys were making music in secret, just like every other struggling artist who doesn’t have a famous last name. 🙃
Debut Album and Tour
STANLEY SIMMONS’ debut album, “Dancing While The World Is Ending”, dropped on August 28, because what’s a more timely title than that? 🌎 The album was produced by the legendary Rob Cavallo, who has worked with everyone from Green Day to Fleetwood Mac. I mean, who wouldn’t want to work with the sons of KISS? 🤑
The band’s first-ever U.S. tour kicked off on September 14 in Dallas, Texas, and will conclude on November 3 in West Hollywood, California, because, of course, they have to play in all the trendy cities. 🎸
Evan Stanley said, “We’re learning you can never win on the Internet. No matter what you do, you cannot win. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.” Wow, what a bold statement. I bet the internet has never heard that one before. 🙄
In conclusion, STANLEY SIMMONS is a thing, and the world will somehow continue to spin. 🌎 If you’re a fan of KISS or just want to see what the sons of rock legends can do, be sure to check out their album and tour. Or don’t. I mean, it’s not like they’re going to change the face of music or anything. 😴
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
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