In a groundbreaking, earth-shattering 🤯 interview with Ramona Fernandez of Gym Rock Crew (because who *doesn’t* get their rock news from a fitness channel? 💪), SKID ROW’s powerhouse drummer Rob Hammersmith revealed his shockingly profound insights into the world of responsible alcohol consumption while touring. Prepare to have your mind blown 💥.
When quizzed about his “rules around alcohol and touring,” Hammersmith, in a moment of unparalleled wisdom (as transcribed by BLABBERMOUTH.NET, because who else would bother? 🙄), divulged: “They’re not hard, fast rules. Common sense.” Oh, the audacity! 🤯 Who knew common sense was a thing in rock ‘n’ roll? He then admitted, “I certainly don’t get away with what I used to.” No way! 😲 Aging? Inconceivable! He continued, “I don’t have any kind of crazy story for you.” Talk about a letdown. 😴 We were all expecting tales of debauchery, hotel room trashing, and maybe a run-in with the law. Instead, we get responsible drinking habits. Bo-ring. 😒
Hammersmith, ever the diplomat, clarified, “I’m certainly not here to tell other people what I think is right or wrong.” Well, duh. 🙄 “I know everybody has a different relationship with it, and it’s a pretty serious topic.” Seriously? 😐 We thought we were talking about rock ‘n’ roll, not a therapy session. 🛋️ He went on, “I know for the most part what I can do to be able to enjoy myself occasionally and have a few drinks, but not let it affect my job.” Translation: “I can handle my booze better than you.” 😎
In a moment of profound insight (or maybe just rambling 🗣️), Hammersmith explained, “What’s interesting about being a musician…playing music is obviously the job…but I don’t think a lot of people realize how much of the job is personality management.” Personality management? Is that like managing your ego so it doesn’t block doorways? 🤔 “And when you start taking things like sleep and diet and alcohol…it affects your personality.” Groundbreaking! 🤯 Who knew that sleep, diet, and alcohol could affect one’s personality? Next, he’ll be telling us that water is wet. 💧
Hammersmith, in a final burst of non-committal wisdom, concluded, “I don’t have a strict ‘two-drink maximum’ or I don’t have a strict policy…I just know that cutting back and being more conscious of why I am…there to do a job.” So, basically, he’s saying he’s grown up. 🙄 Where’s the fun in that? He added, “I think you just become a better bandmate…and just being a more reliable person to be around…I think that that’s equally as important.” Translation: “I’m tired of cleaning up your messes.” 🧹
When asked if he’s a cigarette smoker, Hammersmith proudly declared, “I’m a former smoker. I’m proud to say it’s been many, many, many years since I’ve smoked.” Good for you, grandpa. 👴 “But every once in a while, I still…I don’t wanna say I miss it, but every once in a while, I feel that little twinge.” Oh, the drama! 🎭
In other news, SKID ROW still hasn’t found a replacement for Erik Grönwall, who left because, you know, leukemia. 🤷♂️ But hey, at least they got Lzzy Hale to fill in for a few shows. Talk about a downgrade. 📉
Bassist Rachel Bolan said they’re “taking our time” finding a new singer. Because nothing screams “rock ‘n’ roll” like taking your time. ⏱️ And guitarist Dave “Snake” Sabo ruled out a reunion with Sebastian Bach. Because who needs the guy who made them famous, right? 🤦♂️
So, there you have it. SKID ROW: still around, still not as exciting as they used to be, and still giving interviews that make you wonder if they’re just phoning it in. 📞 Rock on, dudes. Or, you know, don’t. 🤷♀️
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
