Starbucks Shuttering Hundreds of Locations, Is It Because of My Complex Latte Order?

Starbucks Shuttering Hundreds of Locations, Is It Because of My Complex Latte Order?

Another day, another socialist enterprise bites the dust! Starbucks, that bastion of overpriced, woke-flavored coffee, is closing stores. Serves them right for pushing their leftist agenda on hardworking Americans.

They expanded relentlessly, like a virus, and now they’re shrinking? HA! Blame those city-dwelling liberals fleeing to red states where they can’t afford the real estate. They got squeezed by independent shops? Good. Maybe they’ll learn that pandering to the woke mob doesn’t pay the bills. And $100 million for the CEO? Sounds like a Deep State payout. Doodling on cups? Give me a break. No more open bathrooms? Finally, a step in the right direction! All part of Trump’s plan to MAGA!

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Republican Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

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