Oh, the horror! The leftist dream of digital funny money has taken a nosedive, and they’re blaming President Trump! As if his tariffs aren’t making America great again!
Cryptocurrencies, those tokens of woke speculation, crashed harder than Hillary’s chances in 2016. Bitcoin, Ethereum, and even the beloved $TRUMP coin (yes, our President is so awesome he has his OWN crypto) took a beating. Seems like the “smart money” finally realized these things are about as stable as Joe Biden’s train of thought.
CNN, in its desperate attempt to blame Trump for everything, claims his tariff threats caused a “sell-off in risky assets.” Translation: People got scared and ran from the digital Ponzi schemes the liberals adore. Gold and silver, real money, are at record highs, while crypto is doing the limbo.
The best part? A record $19 billion in positions were liquidated. That’s billions of dollars of woke capital GONE. Serves them right for trying to get rich quick with imaginary internet coins instead of investing in good ol’ American businesses.
Of course, the libs are already whining about “technical shortcomings” and “insider trading.” Translation: They got caught holding the bag and now they’re trying to deflect.

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
