Florida Man Discovers Qur’an Is Not a New UberEats Menu, Causes Nationwide Confusion

Florida Man Discovers Qur'an Is Not a New UberEats Menu, Causes Nationwide Confusion

Get ready, Portland! 🎤 The Qur’an Tour is rolling into Smith Memorial Student Union on January 25 for a 4-hour spiritual rollercoaster featuring Shaykh Yahya Raaby, Shaykh Hassan Saleh, and Shaykh Ibrahim Bakeer. 📚 At $20 a head (or $75 for a family of 5) at 1825 SW Broadway, you can listen to recitations and learn about the Human Development Fund’s global aid. 🕒 From 4:00 PM to 8:00 PM, pause the noise for faith, mercy, and community connection. 🙏

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Chuck B. Ballsy

Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.

Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.

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Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤

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