OMG! 🚨 Netflix is FINALLY unleashing “The Thursday Murder Club” on us! 👴👵🔫 Get ready for geriatric James Bond (Pierce Brosnan, obvi), Dame Helen Mirren serving looks AND solving crimes, Ben Kingsley pretending he’s not Gandalf, and Celia Imrie… well, she’s there too. 🤷♀️
So, apparently, Netflix and the once-mighty Steven Spielberg 🦖 (remember him?) decided to adapt some book by Richard Osman, a TV host who clearly peaked by writing about old people doing murder. Because that’s *totally* what the world needs right now. 🙄
The casting, though? I gotta admit, it’s… something. Brosnan, Mirren, Kingsley, and Imrie. It’s like they raided the retirement home of acting legends. Are they gonna solve crimes, or just complain about their arthritis and the price of Werther’s Originals? 🍬👴
Chris Columbus, the guy who launched “Harry Potter” 🧙♂️ (before the franchise went all dark and emo), is directing. So, expect lots of warm lighting, maybe some whimsical music, and absolutely zero gritty realism. Because nothing says “murder” like twee, right? 🙄
Osman, bless his heart, claims he got the idea from hanging out at his mom’s retirement home. He says, and I quote, “These people are so overlooked!” Yeah, because no one *ever* makes movies about old people. 🙄 Wait…
The plot? Four retirees in a retirement community (duh!) solve cold cases for fun. Because, you know, bingo and shuffleboard just aren’t thrilling enough. 🏑 Then, someone kicks the bucket in their own backyard, and suddenly, it’s a REAL whodunit! Gasp! 😱
Mirren is a former spy (obviously, because she’s Helen Mirren!), Kingsley is a psychiatrist (because someone needs to analyze the killer’s mommy issues), Brosnan is a union activist (fighting for better nap times, no doubt), and Imrie is… a nurse. 👩⚕️ Because someone needs to change the bedpans while they’re solving crimes.
Columbus gushes about the cast, saying they’re the “finest” he’s worked with since “Potter.” Which, let’s be honest, isn’t saying much. 🤣
Spielberg’s Amblin company bought the rights in 2020. I’m guessing Spielberg was bored and needed something to do between dinosaur movies and alien invasions. 👽🦖
Apparently, Columbus isn’t writing the script. Instead, we get Katy Brand (who wrote “Good Luck to You, Leo Grande,” a movie about a woman hiring a sex worker… because THAT’S relevant to geriatric murder mysteries!) and Suzanne Heathcote (who wrote for “Fear the Walking Dead” and “Killing Eve”). So, expect some awkward sex scenes and zombie cameos. 🧟♀️😂
But wait, there’s MORE! Naomi Ackie, Daniel Mays, Henry Lloyd-Hughes, Tom Ellis (aka Lucifer 😈), Jonathan Pryce, David Tennant (Doctor Who? 🩺), Paul Freeman, Geoff Bell, Richard E. Grant, and Ingrid Oliver are ALSO in this thing! It’s like they’re emptying out Central Casting! 🎭
Ackie is a local police officer (because every murder mystery needs a clueless cop), Pryce is Mirren’s husband (probably the first to get offed), Ellis is Brosnan’s son (a retired boxer… because why not?), Niles is Ackie’s mom, and Oliver is Imrie’s daughter. It’s a regular family affair! 👨👩👧👦
Netflix is dropping this masterpiece on August 28th. Mark your calendars, people! 🗓️ Get ready for a cozy, predictable, and utterly forgettable murder mystery that you’ll probably watch while scrolling through your phone. 📱😴
And if you’re *really* desperate for more Brosnan, there’s a link to buy his movies on Amazon. But honestly, just re-watch “GoldenEye.” 🍸🔫 You’ll thank me later. 😉
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
