Seattle, WA – It seems Soundgarden just can’t stop surprising – or trolling – their fans. After their disastrous December 14th performance at The Showbox in Seattle, where they performed under the alias Nudedragons with Shaina Shepherd of Bearaxe fame – a gig so bad that YouTube comments were more entertaining than the setlist – the band has doubled down on chaos. Enter their new vocalist: the legendary heckler known only as the «Freebird!» guy. 🎤
Fans who endured the Nudedragons performance still haven’t recovered. Described by one attendee as «an auditory dumpster fire», the event saw Shepherd attempting to belt out Soundgarden classics with a style that could generously be called… ambitious. «She sounded like a drunk jazz singer lost in a grunge karaoke bar», wrote one YouTube commentator. Another quipped, «This was the musical equivalent of pineapple on pizza – divisive, wrong, and deeply upsetting». 🍍🎶
🎸 Nudedragons to Chaosdragons? Soundgarden’s New Vocalist Choice Sparks Grunge Meltdown!
But instead of reflecting, regrouping, or hiring a competent vocalist, Soundgarden has opted to lean into the absurd. Their choice of the «Freebird!» guy as the new frontman is being hailed as either a stroke of genius or a middle finger to fans – and maybe both. For those unfamiliar, the «Freebird!» guy is infamous for shouting Lynyrd Skynyrd requests at concerts, regardless of the genre or artist. His presence alone has ruined countless live performances, so naturally, Soundgarden decided he was perfect for the job. 🤦
«This is about authenticity», said guitarist Kim Thayil, trying not to laugh during a press conference. «Grunge is about rebellion, chaos, and screaming incoherently. Who better embodies that than the ‘Freebird!’ guy?» Thayil also took a shot at critics of the Shaina Shepherd debacle, stating, «If you survived that, you’re ready for anything – including this». 🦅
The announcement has reignited debates about Soundgarden’s direction post-Chris Cornell. Hardcore fans are furious, with some claiming this move dishonors Cornell’s legacy. «First Shaina Shepherd, now this? It’s like they’re trolling us on purpose», fumed one fan on Reddit. Others, however, are taking a more lighthearted approach. «Honestly, it can’t get worse than The Showbox. Let’s see what ‘Freebird!’ dude’s got», joked another.
When asked about his vocal abilities, the «Freebird!» guy responded, «Listen, I’ve been screaming ‘Freebird!’ for decades – my pipes are as seasoned as a cast-iron skillet». His first performance with the band is scheduled for next month, and if his sound check is any indication, it’s going to be… loud. Expect him to scream «Freebird!» as an opener, closer, and likely during every song in between. 🕶️🎤
The shift has also sparked a strange unity among fans who hated the Nudedragons gig and those who just enjoy the absurdity of it all. «At least we’ll be laughing this time», said one TikTok user, who’s already gone viral for a meme comparing Shaina Shepherd’s vocals to «a cat falling into a blender». The «Freebird!» guy’s chaotic energy seems to resonate particularly well with Gen Z, who view it as peak meme culture.
If nothing else, Soundgarden’s decisions over the past year have solidified their place in rock history – not just as grunge icons, but as expert trolls. Whether you love it or hate it, one thing’s for sure: the Nudedragons disaster and the rise of the «Freebird!» guy will be remembered far longer than any polished, forgettable comeback tour. And really, isn’t that the spirit of rock and roll? 🤘
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
