Man Saves Hundreds Of Thousands In Student Loans By Just Learning How To Hate Jews On The Internet
MILLVILLE, NJ — According to sources, college dropout Jack Doulton saved hundreds of thousands of dollars on student loans by…
Month: April 2025
‘Christianity Today’ Announces It Has Converted To Islam
CAROL STREAM, IL — Long-running religious magazine and online publication Christianity Today announced on Friday that it had converted to…
Oblivion Remaster: ‘Body Type’ vs ‘Gender’ – Who Won This Clown Show? 🤡🎉
Hey there, gamers and absurdity enthusiasts, Jackal.Today is here to dive into a wild story about the biggest modding platform…
Federal Judge Travels Back In Time To Overturn Trump’s Birth
WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to newly released court documents, a federal judge invented time travel and transported himself to New…
🤯 “Still Not Dead!”: Faces Are Dropping a COMEBACK Album After 50 Years (No, It’s Not a Prank)
In case you thought Faces were already living out their golden years at some Florida retirement ranch, mainlining prune juice…
Oh wow, Linkin Park dropped a visualizer for “Unshatter,” because clearly we needed *more* shiny things to distract us from the void 🙄✨.
OMG, Linkin Park dropped a “visualizer” for “Unshatter”! 🙄 As if anyone actually *watches* those things. It’s basically a screensaver…
Sydney Sweeney to grace the silver screen in yet another “prestige” role, proving once again that Hollywood has run out of ideas💅🎬🙄
Hold on to your hats, folks, because Hollywood’s about to butcher another beloved video game! Split Fiction, that co-op game…
Chipotle Planning First Location In Mexico
Read MoreThe OnionChipotle has announced plans to expand into Mexico, sharing that their first restaurant will open early next year.…
Meow! 😹 Peter Criss, the catman who used to hit things in KISS, is rounding up a circus of ringers for his “hard rock” comeback, because why not? 🤷♂️
Hold onto your dentures, KISS Army, because the Catman is back…again! 🤣 Yes, Peter Criss, the legendary (or legendarily inconsistent,…
Behold! The Thursday Murder Club: Geriatric Justice League or Just a Bunch of Old Folks Yelling at Clouds? 👵🕵️♀️🤔
OMG! 🚨 Netflix is FINALLY unleashing “The Thursday Murder Club” on us! 👴👵🔫 Get ready for geriatric James Bond (Pierce…