Ignorant Kids Have No Idea How Cool Dad Is
SLIDELL, LA — According to sources, the children of local father Jaxon Holt are completely ignorant of how cool their…
Month: April 2025
Marco Rubio Announces Overhaul Of ‘Bloated’ State Department
Read MoreThe OnionSecretary of State Marco Rubio has announced plans to make sweeping cuts to the State Department, which he…
Tate McWhoopsie-Daisies Teams Up With Country’s Favorite Controversy Cowpoke for a Duet That’s Sure to Trigger Everyone (and no one will remember in a week 🙄)
OMG! 😱 Tate McRae, our pristine pop princess, has been caught in the act! She’s slumming it with none other…
Neil DeGrasse Tyson Debunks 12 Popular Song Lyrics
Music, while thoroughly enjoyable and a beautiful form of artistic expression, is often full of logical fallacies and outright misinformation.…
Elle Fanning and the Basketball Predator: What in the Galaxy is Going On in “Predator: Badlands”? 😂🤦♀️👽
Hold onto your space pants, moviegoers! 20th Century Studios just dropped the trailer for the new “Predator” movie, and the…
‘You’re Going To Make It,’ Says TV ER Doctor To Patient Who’s Definitely Going To Die At The End Of The Episode
U.S. — A new episode of hit hospital drama Danger Hospital started with a bang an ER doctor told a…
Vatican Coroner Confirms Eucharistic Overdose
Read MoreThe OnionVATICAN CITY—In a stunning discovery that revealed the full extent of the pontiff’s addiction, Vatican coroner Fernando Ruini…
Diablo x Berserk in 2025? 🤣 Oh honey, bless your heart, that’s gonna be a *hell* of a wait for some *demonic* disappointment. 💀
Alright gamers, buckle up, because Blizzard, in their infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), has decided to grace us with a…
Support Grows For Requiring Supreme Court Justices To Pass Cognitive Tests
U.S. — As audio clips of another round of oral arguments made their way across social media, results of a…
OMG! 😱 Humble Bundle’s practically GIVING AWAY demon-slaying and Nazi-punching simulators for the price of, like, three avocado toasts! 🥑🥑🥑
OH. MY. GOD. 😱 Humble Bundle, those glorious madlads, are back at it again with a deal so epic, it’ll…