Oh, joy! 🙄 Another mob movie! As if we haven’t seen enough of those. Max (who?) is gracing us with The Alto Knights on June 6th. Mark your calendars, folks, because this cinematic masterpiece (allegedly) will also be on HBO on June 7th at 8 p.m. EDT. Get ready for more tired tropes and predictable plot twists! 🍿
So, the premise? Robert De Niro, bless his heart, is playing *two* roles: Frank Costello and Vito Genovese. Because one mobster wasn’t enough, apparently. We’re talking about rival mobsters in New York. Prepare for the groundbreaking story of their “friendship” (read: backstabbing) at the Alto Knights social club. There’s even an assassination attempt and a meeting in Apalachin in 1957. Riveting stuff. 😴
Barry Levinson, the director, is working with a script by Nicholas Pileggi, who wrote Goodfellas and Casino. So, basically, they’re just rehashing the same old stuff, hoping we won’t notice. Genius! 🧠
Debra Messing plays Costello’s wife, Bobbie. Apparently, Bobbie wants Costello to retire. Groundbreaking! They even move to Long Island. Because that’s where mobsters go to find peace and quiet, right? 🏝️
Pileggi and producer Irwin Winkler, in their infinite wisdom, told UPI that Costello and Genovese represent “the end of the mob.” I guess they haven’t seen the 500 other mob movies that came out since then. 🤦♂️
And if you’re still not convinced, the movie also stars Cosmo Jarvis, Kathrine Narducci, Michael Rispoli, and Wallace Langham. Names you definitely recognize and are super excited to see in *another* mob movie. 🤩
So, get ready for The Alto Knights. It’s bound to be… something. Maybe even watchable. But probably not. 🤷♂️
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
