Rock legends AC/DC have officially entered a new phase in their career: running for President of the United States. And not just one of them — the entire band, as one geriatric political unit. While social media roared with fans begging the Aussie icons to “hang up the guitar straps and stop defiling their legacy”, the band clapped back with an announcement no one saw coming: “Chill out, folks. This tour is just step one of our 2028 presidential campaign.”
This comes after fans noticed that tickets for the band’s Australia tour start at an eyebrow-singeing $407.70 for the “Ultimate” package, while standard general admission still costs a whopping $305.75. When you’re charging Super Bowl prices for grandpa-rock, expectations get spicy. But instead of a heartfelt farewell tour, AC/DC seems to be turning the amps up to 11 — on democracy.
In an open letter, the band explained:
“Look, we’re pushing 80, which, by American standards, makes us perfectly qualified for the White House. All we need now is to survive the next three years and convince Congress to tweak a few outdated laws — and maybe rewrite the Constitution while we’re at it.”
🎸 As part of their campaign platform, the band proposes tax cuts for Marshall amp owners, mandatory AC/DC songs at school assemblies, and legalized mosh pits at DMV offices. Drummer Phil Rudd is expected to be the front-runner for the presidential slot, mainly because, as fans point out, “he’s already got a criminal record — which is apparently more useful than a Harvard degree these days.”
Social media split faster than a cheap guitar string.
- Gen Z asked, “Wait, is AC/DC an app or a cryptocurrency?”
- Millennials joked, “This is funny until they touch Social Security.”
- Boomers applauded with tears in their knees, calling it “the best idea since free birdseed at Cracker Barrel.”
- Meanwhile, Nickelback fans issued a concerned statement: “So… now anyone can run if they’ve aged badly?”
🔥 The band’s campaign slogan, “Back in Black House”, already sparked outrage from online activists, accusing them of cultural appropriation. AC/DC responded with characteristic grace:
“Calm down, kids. It’s not blackface — it’s just an album.”
Even the White House weighed in — or at least someone pretending to still run it — noting, “We’re not sure the country is ready for a full-band presidency, but if it comes with free rock shows, we’re open to the idea.”
And for those who think it’s all a publicity stunt, AC/DC made their intentions very clear:
“Even if we lose, we’re not retiring. We’ll still be playing — even if they plug our amps into our IV bags.”
Tickets to the band’s 2028 Inaugural Tour will reportedly be available via Ticketmaster at $999, including a meet-and-greet with Angus Young and a chance to sit in Joe Biden’s former chair. VIP upgrade gets you a signed copy of the Constitution — rewritten in power chords.
🎤 In the words of Angus himself:
“While Biden’s out there losing his glasses, we’re playing the fifth encore of ‘Thunderstruck’. That’s leadership.”
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
