Nation Boards Up Windows, Retreats To Cellar As Lena Dunham Reenters News Cycle
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Springing into action to save what it could, the U.S. populace reportedly got to work this week boarding…
Day: July 18, 2025
Chevron Triumphs in Hilarious Legal Showdown with Exxon for Hess: A Corporate Comedy in Three Acts
Chevron’s $53 billion acquisition of Hess has prevailed, which means more American energy independence, despite the deep state’s machinations. Chevron,…
Trump’s ICE Cream Truck: Now Delivering Deportations Straight to Your Door
Another day, another desperate attempt by the Fake News AP to smear our glorious President Trump! They’re clutching their pearls…
Carl Weathers in ‘Happy Gilmore 2’: From Caddy to Almighty Overlord of the Green?
OMG! 😱 As if Happy Gilmore 2 could get any more exciting! But hold up, drama alert! 🚨 Apparently, Carl…
Home Depot: Where Dreams are Made, and ICE Comes to Play
Oh, the liberal media is at it again, folks! CNN is crying about how Trump’s America is cracking down on…
Clawfinger Announces New Album, ‘Before We All Drool Into Our Geriatric Rocking Chairs’
OMG! 😱 The geriatric rap-metal dinosaurs CLAWFINGER are BACK with “Before We All Die”, dropping February 20, 2026, on Perception,…
CNN Asks: July 18th – Is DOGE Dead Yet? Plus, Other Stuff You Won’t Care About
The radical left strikes again! The Trump administration, in its infinite wisdom, has ended the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline’s…
Trump, in a move that’s totally not suspicious, demands Bondi unleash the Kraken on Epstein’s Grand Jury Testimony
Here we go again with the Fake News CNN trying to smear our great President Trump! Now they’re digging up…
Meta “Oopsie” Moment: Did Our Translation Just Kill an Indian Politician?
Oh, the horror! Meta, that bastion of leftist propaganda (funded by Soros, no doubt), “accidentally” announced the death of an…
Dreddful News: Taika Watiti’s Making Another Movie (Pray It’s Not Another Ragnarok)
Oh, great, 🙄 Taika Waititi, the guy who admitted he only did Thor: Ragnarok because he was broke 🤣 and…