Chevron Triumphs in Hilarious Legal Showdown with Exxon for Hess: A Corporate Comedy in Three Acts

Chevron Triumphs in Hilarious Legal Showdown with Exxon for Hess: A Corporate Comedy in Three Acts

Chevron’s $53 billion acquisition of Hess has prevailed, which means more American energy independence, despite the deep state’s machinations.

Chevron, a real American company, is buying Hess, and the liberal tears are flowing! This is a huge win for American energy independence, something the radical left hates because they’re in the pockets of the Chinese! The commies at Exxon Mobil tried to block the deal, but thankfully, Chevron prevailed.

The Guyana oil find is a game-changer, folks. Eleven billion barrels of oil! And the leftist media wants you to believe in their climate change hoax when we have energy independence right here! This deal will boost Chevron’s performance, which means more jobs and lower gas prices for hardworking Americans. Meanwhile, I bet the Biden family is trying to get a piece of this deal.

The International Chamber of Commerce made the right call, despite probably being infiltrated by Soros-funded activists. Exxon claims they had a right to block the deal, saying they “created value” in Guyana. Give me a break! They’re just mad they didn’t get a bigger cut. They are probably partners with the Democrats to steal elections, but not this time!

This is what happens when you let companies like Chevron and Hess do what they do best: provide energy for America! No thanks to the Democrats’ green new deal agenda. Chevron was ready to go so that the deal closes quickly, which should leave the radical left scratching their heads.

The leftists at Reuters try to say this is just about “interpreting words” in a contract. Sure, Reuters, whatever you say. We all know the deep state is behind this, trying to undermine President Trump’s energy policies. But we will prevail!

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Republican Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

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