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Month: July 2025

Report: Useless Medics Wasted Time on OZZY Before Inevitable Doom
Breaking, Music News

Report: Useless Medics Wasted Time on OZZY Before Inevitable Doom

Chord F. DiscordJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

Paramedics reportedly spent two hours treating Ozzy Osbourne before his inevitable demise on Tuesday, July 22. Two whole hours! 🕰️…

HHS Advises Low-Income Seniors To Wallow In Mud To Stay Cool
The Onion

HHS Advises Low-Income Seniors To Wallow In Mud To Stay Cool

FinnJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Following federal cuts to utility bill assistance programs, the Department of Health and Human Services released guidance Thursday…

House Oversight Subcommittee Gets Desperate, Will Now Harass DOJ for Uh, “Epstein Files,” Yeah That’s It
Elephant Reads CNN

House Oversight Subcommittee Gets Desperate, Will Now Harass DOJ for Uh, “Epstein Files,” Yeah That’s It

Big ElephantJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

Well, well, well, look who’s crawling out of the woodwork! The Deep State Democrats, along with a few RINOs, are…

Trump’s Legal Gymnastics: Immunity for Himself, But Lock Her Up (Again)
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Legal Gymnastics: Immunity for Himself, But Lock Her Up (Again)

Big ElephantJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

Oh, the tangled web we weave when we try to drain the swamp! It seems President Trump, in his infinite…

Hatebreed in Charlotte, NC (07/23/2025) — SUMMER SLAUGTHER TOUR 2025
Videos

Hatebreed in Charlotte, NC (07/23/2025) — SUMMER SLAUGTHER TOUR 2025

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 24, 2025

Metalcore/hardcore from Bridgeport, Connecticut! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,”…

Fugitive in Charlotte, NC (07/23/2025) — SUMMER SLAUGTHER TOUR 2025
Videos

Fugitive in Charlotte, NC (07/23/2025) — SUMMER SLAUGTHER TOUR 2025

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 23, 2025

Thrash Metal/Crossover from Fort Worth, Texas! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan…

Gridiron in Charlotte, NC (07/23/2025) — SUMMER SLAUGTHER TOUR 2025
Videos

Gridiron in Charlotte, NC (07/23/2025) — SUMMER SLAUGTHER TOUR 2025

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 23, 2025

Rap-metal from Boyertown, Pennsylvania! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,”…

Snuffed On Sight in Charlotte, NC (07/23/2025) — SUMMER SLAUGTHER TOUR 2025
Videos

Snuffed On Sight in Charlotte, NC (07/23/2025) — SUMMER SLAUGTHER TOUR 2025

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 23, 2025

Brutal Death Metal from San Francisco, California! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The…

Slackjaw in Charlotte, NC (07/23/2025) — SUMMER SLAUGTHER TOUR 2025
Videos

Slackjaw in Charlotte, NC (07/23/2025) — SUMMER SLAUGTHER TOUR 2025

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 23, 2025

Groove Metal from South Carolina! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of…

Evan Perez Explains How a Judge Just Dumped a Truckload of Epstein Docs, Buckle Up
Elephant Reads CNN

Evan Perez Explains How a Judge Just Dumped a Truckload of Epstein Docs, Buckle Up

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

Ah, CNN, still trying to stir up the swamp after President Trump drained it! So, a judge is being all…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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