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Month: July 2025

Lawmakers bravely venture into ‘Alligator Alcatraz,’ may become gator snacks | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Lawmakers bravely venture into ‘Alligator Alcatraz,’ may become gator snacks | CNN

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here! The liberal snowflakes are melting faster than an iceberg in July over…

Dow Tries Not to Vomit as S&P Parties Like It’s 1999 (Again) Thanks to Totally Believable Jobs Numbers | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Dow Tries Not to Vomit as S&P Parties Like It’s 1999 (Again) Thanks to Totally Believable Jobs Numbers | CNN Business

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump! CNN, still reeling from their election coverage failures, reluctantly reports that the stock…

“ICE gets a boner from this bill”: Immigration reporter spills the tea on new enforcement cash | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

“ICE gets a boner from this bill”: Immigration reporter spills the tea on new enforcement cash | CNN

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Another day, another so-called “expert” from the liberal media trying to undermine our GREAT President Trump! This “Republican” economist is…

Trump’s “Major” Win: Congress Finally Passes Something (Barely)
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s “Major” Win: Congress Finally Passes Something (Barely)

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

CNN, still whining after all these years! Apparently, Republican lawmakers, those brave patriots, have handed our glorious President Trump his…

Michael Madsen Kicks the Bucket at 67, Probably While Holding a Bloody Prop
Breaking, Movie News

Michael Madsen Kicks the Bucket at 67, Probably While Holding a Bloody Prop

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Well, well, well, what do we have here? Seems like Mr. Blonde himself, Michael Madsen, has decided to check out…

Gamification: How Digital Media Will Enslave Customers by 2025
Breaking, Games News

Gamification: How Digital Media Will Enslave Customers by 2025

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Ah, gamification, the buzzword that refuses to die. It’s not just badges and points anymore, oh no. In the futuristic…

June Jobs Report: Hidden Bad News or Just Another Doomsday Prophecy
Elephant Reads CNN

June Jobs Report: Hidden Bad News or Just Another Doomsday Prophecy

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Ah, CNN, still trying to find a cloud in President Trump’s sunshine! They’re clutching at straws, folks, straws! The June…

Savatage’s 2025 Comeback: Johnny Lee Middleton States the Obvious
Breaking, Music News

Savatage’s 2025 Comeback: Johnny Lee Middleton States the Obvious

Chord F. DiscordJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

In a groundbreaking, earth-shattering 💥 interview with Eonmusic at Hellfest 2025, SAVATAGE bassist Johnny Lee Middleton revealed the band’s ingenious…

Pixar blew $300M on “Elio” — Hulk Hogan was the hero, but Pixar accidentally releases the wrong animated movie
Wrong Flash Drive Destroys Disney: Queer "Elio" Bombs, Hulk Hogan Version Shelved
Movie News

Pixar blew $300M on “Elio” — Hulk Hogan was the hero, but Pixar accidentally releases the wrong animated movie

FinnJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Pixar has done it again — burned $300 million on a woke disaster that makes even “Lightyear” look like The…

GFN Thursday: GeForce NOW Yeets 20 Games Including Little Nightmares III (But Who’s Counting)
Breaking, Games News

GFN Thursday: GeForce NOW Yeets 20 Games Including Little Nightmares III (But Who’s Counting)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Okay, so apparently, it’s 2025, and NVIDIA GeForce NOW is still a thing? 🤣 Who knew? I thought cloud gaming…

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Latest posts

  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Alien Invasion Film Ever Because Steven Spielberg is Finally Going to Reveal the Truth About Earrings and Fashion Disasters from the 80s in Disclosure Day
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  • Buckethead in Charlotte, NC (05/28/2026)
  • Get Ready for the Most Epic R&B Party on a Rooftop That Will Probably End with a Noise Complaint and a Visit from the Police
  • OH JOY Another Has Been from the 80s is Desperately Trying to be Relevant Again with Their Super Original Sounding Solo Album Called Dirty Foot Lane Wow What a Unique Title

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2025
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