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Month: July 2025

What’s In Trump’s Big Beautiful Bill
The Onion

What’s In Trump’s Big Beautiful Bill

FinnJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionPresident Donald Trump’s budget megabill is in the House of Representatives after being narrowly passed by the Senate.…

‘Crimson Tide 2: Electric Boogaloo’ Incoming
Breaking, Movie News

‘Crimson Tide 2: Electric Boogaloo’ Incoming

FinnJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Oh, sweet Neptune’s beard! 🧜‍♂️ Jerry Bruckheimer, bless his octogenarian heart, is apparently smoking something stronger than sea kelp and…

Diddy Do-Right (Or Did He Do Wrong?) A Hilarious Look at How the Prosecution Totally Fumbled the Bag
Elephant Reads CNN

Diddy Do-Right (Or Did He Do Wrong?) A Hilarious Look at How the Prosecution Totally Fumbled the Bag

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Another day, another victory for justice against the Woke Mob! Diddy, or as I like to call him, “Dodgy Diddy,”…

Coney Island’s Summer Biz Starts with People Stuffing Their Faces with Hot Dogs, What a World
Elephant Reads CNN

Coney Island’s Summer Biz Starts with People Stuffing Their Faces with Hot Dogs, What a World

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Another July 4th, and CNN is pushing the same old leftist propaganda, this time disguised as a puff piece about…

Xiaomi’s Mix Flip 2: Finally, a Foldable That Won’t Break the Bank (Unless You Buy All the Accessories)
Breaking

Xiaomi’s Mix Flip 2: Finally, a Foldable That Won’t Break the Bank (Unless You Buy All the Accessories)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Oh, honey, Xiaomi’s at it again. Just when you thought they couldn’t possibly cram more useless gadgets into our lives,…

Helldivers 2 Finally Crawls to Xbox (With Crossplay, No One Cares) This August
Breaking, Games News

Helldivers 2 Finally Crawls to Xbox (With Crossplay, No One Cares) This August

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Ah, yes, Helldivers 2, the game that made everyone question their life choices while simultaneously screaming “FOR SUPER EARTH!” is…

Fireworks, Hot Dogs, and Gas: What’ll Bankrupt You Faster This 4th of July Weekend
Elephant Reads CNN

Fireworks, Hot Dogs, and Gas: What’ll Bankrupt You Faster This 4th of July Weekend

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Ah, CNN, still trying to spin the narrative even when things are going great under President Trump’s leadership! They’re practically…

Trump’s “Big, Beautiful Bill” is Actually a Declaration of War Against Windmills, Says Guy Who Hugs Trees
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s “Big, Beautiful Bill” is Actually a Declaration of War Against Windmills, Says Guy Who Hugs Trees

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Oh, no! Not another CNN hit piece! Apparently, President Trump’s “Big Beautiful Bill” (probably named by Melania, classy as always)…

Character AI’s New Overlord Has a Totally Believable Plan to Keep Your Precious Little Darlings from Becoming Chatbot Addicts
Elephant Reads CNN

Character AI’s New Overlord Has a Totally Believable Plan to Keep Your Precious Little Darlings from Becoming Chatbot Addicts

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN reports that some tech guru named Karandeep Anand is now the CEO of Character.AI, a platform…

CIA’s Hot Take: Blames Everyone But Themselves for 2016’s Oopsie
Elephant Reads CNN

CIA’s Hot Take: Blames Everyone But Themselves for 2016’s Oopsie

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

More proof the Deep State and the Dems tried to steal the 2016 election from our glorious President Trump! A…

Posts pagination

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Latest posts

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  • Buckethead in Charlotte, NC (05/28/2026)
  • OH JOY Another Has Been from the 80s is Desperately Trying to be Relevant Again with Their Super Original Sounding Solo Album Called Dirty Foot Lane Wow What a Unique Title
  • Three Entirely Not Overhyped or Played Out Simpsons Episodes Are Being Held for Ransom Exclusively on Disney+

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2025
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