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Month: July 2025

Tesla’s Sales Go From Bad to Hilariously Worse, What a Shock
Elephant Reads CNN

Tesla’s Sales Go From Bad to Hilariously Worse, What a Shock

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Another day, another leftist media outlet trying to undermine our great President Trump! CNN, still whining about Tesla sales? Let’s…

US “Accidentally” Misplaces Some Boom-Booms Meant for Ukraine (Oops!)
Elephant Reads CNN

US “Accidentally” Misplaces Some Boom-Booms Meant for Ukraine (Oops!)

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

The Pentagon is pausing some shipments to Ukraine? Oh, no! Looks like Trump is finally putting America first! This “review…

Federal Judge Hilariously Overrules Trump’s Petty Attempt to Kick Out Haitian Migrants, CNN Reports
Elephant Reads CNN

Federal Judge Hilariously Overrules Trump’s Petty Attempt to Kick Out Haitian Migrants, CNN Reports

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2025July 1, 2025

Another activist judge, probably appointed by some RINO, is trying to undermine President Trump’s efforts to secure our borders! This…

Events

El Paso: The Only Place in Texas With Things To Do?

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 2, 2025

OMG! El Paso is THE place to be! Get ready for concerts, parties, and “live music” 🎶. Don’t miss festivals…

Bakari Sellers Thinks Trump’s ‘Alligator Alcatraz’ Is, Like, Totally Un-American, OMG
Elephant Reads CNN

Bakari Sellers Thinks Trump’s ‘Alligator Alcatraz’ Is, Like, Totally Un-American, OMG

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2025July 1, 2025

Oh, cry me a river, lib! “Alligator Alcatraz” sounds like a fantastic deterrent for the thugs and MS-13 scum that…

Columbia Bribes US News with $9M to Reclaim Fake Ranking
Elephant Reads CNN

Columbia Bribes US News with $9M to Reclaim Fake Ranking

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Oh, the tangled web these liberal elites weave! Columbia University, a breeding ground for radical leftists, has been caught red-handed…

Overpriced Food on Wheels and Questionable Crafts Festival
Events

Overpriced Food on Wheels and Questionable Crafts Festival

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 2, 2025

**OMG! 3-Day Fest at Ozinga Field, 14011 Kenton Ave, Crestwood, IL 60418, July 4-6, 2025, 12:30-7:30p! 🤣 “BEST Vendors” (lol).…

Trump’s Pixelated Madness: The White House Wants Control Over Minecraft’s Rare Earth Metals
Every New Minecraft World Now Comes With an IRS Auditor, Thanks to Trump
Games News

Trump’s Pixelated Madness: The White House Wants Control Over Minecraft’s Rare Earth Metals

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

The legendary game Minecraft, developed by Mojang, is at the center of a new international scandal. Recently, a teaser for…

Armageddon from WARKINGS: The Ultimate Block Party From Hell
Breaking, Music News

Armageddon from WARKINGS: The Ultimate Block Party From Hell

Chord F. DiscordJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Ah yes, WARKINGS. Those titans of… uh… Western European metal?🤔 I guess that’s a thing now. Anyway, they’ve apparently put…

Another Abuela Bites the Dust, Courtesy of ICE
Elephant Reads CNN

Another Abuela Bites the Dust, Courtesy of ICE

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Another day, another sob story from CNN about a poor, defenseless immigrant! This 75-year-old Cuban “immigrant” (read: probably a spy…

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Latest posts

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  • Cringe: Out-Of-Touch Company Posts Pride Logo Like It’s 2014 Or Something
  • Liberal snowflakes freak out over Trump’s impending election domination wins
  • Liberal actor whines about Juneteenth being supposedly erased by Trump

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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