Oh, the drama! 🍿 Our beloved indie game haven, Itch.io, decided to play hide-and-seek with the naughty bits last week, sending the internet into a frenzy. But fear not, horny gamers, because they’re kinda-sorta backtracking now! 🤪
Last week, Itch.io, in a move of sheer brilliance *cough*, decided to follow in the footsteps of the supreme overlord of PC gaming, Steam, and shadowban all the “adult” 😈 content. You know, the stuff that makes you go “😳” or “😂,” depending on your sense of humor. Apparently, this whole mess started because some pearl-clutchers at Collective Shout (who?) threw a hissy fit over Zerat Games’ masterpiece, No Mercy. Because heaven forbid anyone create something slightly risqué, right? 🙄
So, Itch.io, in its infinite wisdom, decided to “de-index” the naughty stuff. Which is just a fancy way of saying “we’re hiding it, so you can’t find it unless you already know it exists.” Brilliant strategy, guys! 👏
Naturally, the internet exploded 💣. Gamers flocked to Reddit to vent their frustrations, because what else are we supposed to do with our outrage? Some even suggested that this “censorship” (ooh, scary word!) would spread like a virus, eventually infecting LGBTQ+ titles and anything else deemed “inappropriate.” 😱 Because, you know, we can’t have *those* kinds of games, can we?
And because no drama is complete without an official statement, the IDGA (International Game Developers Association) chimed in with their concerns about game censorship. They’re “alarmed” by the “vague enforcement of policies” and demand “clear rules, fair warnings, and the right to appeal.” Basically, they’re saying, “Itch.io, get your act together!” 😠 Then Aggro Crab Games (who?) posted on BlueSky (??) about how this hurts developers. 😭
But wait, there’s a twist! 😮 In a stunning display of… well, something, Itch.io has decided to reverse course! They’re now “re-indexing” the FREE adult content. 🎉 Huzzah! But don’t get too excited, perverts! 😈 They’re still “in ongoing discussions with payment processors” about the paid stuff. So, if you want to sell your smutty games, you’re SOL for now. 🤷♀️
Itch.io is tip-toeing back into the depraved pool, claiming that they are slowly releasing the paid content. 🐌 They need to be careful because they have to support “the widest range of creators.” Translation: They’re scared of losing money. 💰
And just to add insult to injury, even with this partial restoration, some titles are still missing. Like, say, Mouthwashing. 🪥 Because apparently, oral hygiene is more offensive than pixelated boobs. 🤣
So, there you have it, folks. Another day, another drama in the wild world of indie games. Stay tuned for the next episode of “As the Itch Turns,” where we’ll find out if Itch.io ever manages to figure out what it wants to be when it grows up. 🤣
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
