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Day: August 14, 2025

SEPULTURA’s Bassist Can’t Stop Gushing About Their New Drummer – Is This a Love Story?
Breaking, Music News

SEPULTURA’s Bassist Can’t Stop Gushing About Their New Drummer – Is This a Love Story?

Chord F. DiscordAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

So, apparently, SEPULTURA, the band that’s been threatening to retire since the dinosaurs roamed the Earth, has a new drummer.…

HP Says They Have New Stuff or Whatever
Breaking, Games News

HP Says They Have New Stuff or Whatever

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Oh, look, it’s that time of year again when HP, bless their corporate hearts, tries to convince us that Fall…

Thunderbolts’ Streaming Premiere Date Announced (As If You Care)
Breaking, Movie News

Thunderbolts’ Streaming Premiere Date Announced (As If You Care)

FinnAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Oh boy, another Marvel movie! 🙄 As if we didn’t have enough of those already. But wait, this one’s *different*.…

Mobile Gaming for Dummies: A Guide for the Clueless Noob
Breaking, Games News

Mobile Gaming for Dummies: A Guide for the Clueless Noob

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

**So, you’ve decided to grace the mobile gaming world with your presence? 🙄 Prepare for a life-altering experience of rage-quitting,…

Putin’s biceps: Fact or Photoshop fantasy, Ukraine spills the borscht
Elephant Reads CNN

Putin’s biceps: Fact or Photoshop fantasy, Ukraine spills the borscht

Big ElephantAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Oh, look, another Deep State operative trying to undermine our glorious President Trump! This Kuleba guy, a FORMER Ukrainian Foreign…

CNN asks the REAL questions: Is Zohran Mamdani DESTROYING the Democratic Party?
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN asks the REAL questions: Is Zohran Mamdani DESTROYING the Democratic Party?

Big ElephantAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Oh, the horror! A socialist Democrat, Zohran Mamdani, might actually become the mayor of New York City? This is what…

Jason Returns in Friday the 13th Short Film: Oh, the Horror
Breaking, Movie News

Jason Returns in Friday the 13th Short Film: Oh, the Horror

FinnAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Okay, so apparently Friday the 13th and that overgrown man-child, Jason Voorhees, have been battling it out in court like…

Texas Democrats Suddenly Remember They Have a State to Represent, Maybe
Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Democrats Suddenly Remember They Have a State to Represent, Maybe

Big ElephantAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Those pesky Texas Democrats are crawling back after their little vacation! Seems like their little stunt of running away to…

“The Man In My Basement” Trailer: Prepare for Willem Dafoe’s Oscar-Worthy Performance (as a Basement Dweller)
Breaking, Movie News

“The Man In My Basement” Trailer: Prepare for Willem Dafoe’s Oscar-Worthy Performance (as a Basement Dweller)

FinnAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Oh, honey, let’s talk about “The Man in My Basement,” because nothing screams “riveting cinema” like a dusty basement and…

DREAM THEATER Releases Graphic Novel: Prepare for Maximum Prog-Nostalgia Induced Coma
Breaking, Music News

DREAM THEATER Releases Graphic Novel: Prepare for Maximum Prog-Nostalgia Induced Coma

Chord F. DiscordAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Oh, sweet merciful prog! 🙄 In October 2023, the planets aligned, the unicorns 🦄 danced, and Mike Portnoy, after a…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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