Ferragosto: Pizza, Movies, and Existential Dread
OMG! 🤩 Movie night at the Milford House! 🍕 + 🍷 (but no BYOB, Karen!) Screening of When Mom Is…
Day: August 16, 2025
Gamescom 2025: Behold, the Sacred Schedule of Overhyped Events and Disappointing Reveals
Okay, gamers, listen up! 📢 Gamescom 2025, the world’s “biggest” video game show (according to who, exactly? 🤔), is about…
Oh No! Orange Man Bad, Forced to Think Because of Putin’s Big Boy Moves
Well, well, well, look who just rolled out of Alaska after another chummy chat with his pal, Vladimir! Our glorious…
Oh, Canada! Jobs Minister Plays Hero, Saves Air Canada from Flight Attendant Uprising
Another day, another union temper tantrum! Those socialist Canadians are at it again, trying to bring down a successful airline…
“Long Story Short: Netflix Serves Up Another Helping of Family Drama, Because We Haven’t Had Enough”
Okay, so BoJack Horseman, right? 🤔 Everyone creamed their jeans over it, acting like it was the second coming of…
Ukraine Raises Alarm As Trump Emerges From Meeting Wearing Soviet Ushanka
KYIV — Ukraine government officials sounded the alarm today after President Trump emerged from his meeting with Putin sporting a…
What To Know About ‘Weapons’
Read MoreThe OnionWeapons, a new horror film from the director of Barbarian, topped the box office on its opening weekend.…
Titan Quest II Early Access: Prepare to Yawn Your Way Through Ancient Greece Again
Oh. My. Gods. 🙄 Another ARPG? Seriously? Is this what we’re doing now? Just churning out the same old formula…
Brighty the Burro’s Butty Gets Crispy, Future Remains a Hairy Situation
Oh, the humanity! Or, rather, the burro-manity! Our beloved Brighty the Burro, a symbol of the Grand Canyon, fell victim…
From Pig Pen to Pompous: Trump’s DC Makeover Attempts
Oh, the horror! Our glorious leader, President Trump, is actually trying to make Washington D.C. great again! The swamp creatures…