Helldivers 2 on Xbox? Oh Honey, Bless Your Heart
Alright, listen up, you soon-to-be-cannon-fodder! Helldivers 2, the game that’s totally not a thinly veiled satire of fascist regimes, is…
Day: August 26, 2025
Apple’s Crappy iPhone Launch: Prepare for Disappointment on Sept 9 | CNN Business
Oh, the horror! Apple, that bastion of liberal tech tyranny, is at it again, unveiling the iPhone 17 on September…
Chicago Alderman Throws Epic Tantrum Over Imaginary Tanks, Proves He’s Never Seen a Parade
Oh, the drama! Chicago liberals are clutching their pearls because President Trump might send in the National Guard to stop…
Lisa Cook: First Fed Governor to Get the Boot? (Thanks, Prez!) | CNN Business
Another Deep State Operative Bites the Dust! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, has terminated Federal Reserve Governor Lisa Cook,…
The Offspring drops ‘Truth In Fiction’ video, proving they’re still a band
OMG! 🙄 The geriatric punk rockers THE OFFSPRING, who are probably older than your grandpa,👴 just dropped a music video…
From Rotten to Director: 10 Critics Who Traded Pens for Panic Buttons
Oh, SWEET IRONY! 🤣 The cinematic world is full of directors who whine louder than a toddler denied candy, screeching…
California Resident Tests Positive For The Plague
Read MoreThe OnionAfter a California resident tested positive for bubonic plague, likely contracted from a flea bite while camping, local…
Genius Trump Enacts Plan To Dumb Down Chinese Population By Inviting Them To Attend American Universities
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In yet another genius move designed to weaken a rival nation, President Donald Trump enacted a plan…
How to Squeeze Every Last Pixel Out of Your Pathetic Budget
Alright gamers, listen up! 🤪 So you wanna be a pro-gamer but your wallet’s drier than the Sahara desert? 🌵…
CNN: Renowned Journalist Reveals Putin’s Shocking Hobby: Collecting Ukrainian Territories
Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! “Putin’s goal is all of Ukraine,” they cry. It’s always Russia, Russia, Russia!…