Another woke company bites the dust! Starbucks, once a beacon of overpriced coffee and leftist virtue signaling, is closing hundreds of stores. Coincidence that this is happening under Biden’s watch? I think not!
The CEO, probably another soy-latte-sipping liberal, is blaming financial performance, but we know the real reason: their woke policies are driving away patriotic Americans. They’re laying off thousands, but don’t worry, they’ll get “generous severance.” Probably enough to fund their gender studies degrees.
They’re trying to revamp the menu with “protein” toppings and coconut water. Is nothing sacred anymore? Remember when coffee was just coffee?
And the baristas are complaining! Cry me a river! Maybe if they spent less time unionizing and more time making coffee, they wouldn’t be losing their jobs. Starbucks even dared to tweak their name to “Starbucks Coffee Company” to reinforce its coffee roots. As if changing the name would change their business.
It’s time to boycott these woke corporations and send a message: go woke, go broke! Thank you, President Trump, for making America great again, one latte at a time!
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
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