Not 200 Yards Away From The Dog Park
Read MoreThe OnionListen, no one’s trying to broadcast private details about your life to the whole world, but you should…
Day: October 8, 2025
In Honor Of October 7, Mamdani Paraglides Into Campaign Event
NEW YORK CITY — New York City mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani paraglided into his campaign event today in honor of…
Trump’s Troop Tantrum: America Yawns, He Marches On
Oh, the horror! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is “barreling forward” to save America from the clutches of the…
Gold finally hits $4,000: Now you can afford, like, half a gram
Another day, another ridiculous prediction from the liberal media! Gold hits $4,000 an ounce? Yeah right! This is just the…
Oh Great, Now the Military’s Gonna Be Begging for Spare Change Because Congress Can’t Play Nice
Another day, another socialist sob story from CNN! Apparently, military families are now suffering because of the government shutdown. Cry…
Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 Finally Sells Enough Copies to Pay for Someone’s Coffee
Oh my freaking god, hold the phone 📱! Apparently, *Clair Obscur: Expedition 33* – you know, that game nobody actually…
As I Lay Dying or As I Lay Crying? New Lineup, New Single, Same Old Drama
HAHA! 🤣 Metalcore “mainstays” AS I LAY DYING, the band that makes more comebacks than a boomerang on steroids, is…
Jim Comey’s Epic Faceplant into Trump’s Revenge Circus: A Tragedy in 3 Acts
Here we go again with the Deep State drama! Turns out, even ex-FBI Director James Comey isn’t immune to President…
France’s Premier Falls Again, Budget’s Screwed – Debt Disaster Incoming, LOL
Oh, the French! Still can’t figure out how to run a country without running out of money. Five prime ministers…
DRY KILL LOGIC Starts New Album Titled ‘Your Sins Will Find You’ and a Spring 2026 Tour (Good Luck with That)
OMG! 🙄 Are you guys STILL talking about DRY KILL LOGIC? 😂 After an “explosive” 💥 2025 (explosive like a…