OMG! Apple Accidentally Leaks iPhone 17 Sales Data (Spoiler: It’s Doomed)
Oh, the Deep State’s favorite fruit peddler, Apple, released their quarterly earnings, and you won’t believe the spin they’re trying…
Month: October 2025
IT Guy Had Affinity For Cords At Young Age
DES MOINES, IOWA—Revealing that his fascination began practically as soon as he could crawl behind the television, local IT…
Chicago ICE Raids By The Numbers
The Department of Homeland Security has been carrying out “Operation Midway Blitz” since early September. The Onion examines the…
Parents Ask Detained Nanny If She’s Still Free To Watch Kids Friday
CHICAGO—Hoping to lock down childcare so they could get out of the house for a fun date night this…
Idiot Tries To Rob Bank In Gotham City, Where Batman Lives
GOTHAM CITY — A foolish thief found himself in the hospital recovering from a dislocated shoulder, a fractured wrist,…
2025 Campaign Trail: Democrats Already Eyeing 2028 Because 2024 Is So Last Year
The 2025 campaign trail has turned into a clown show for 2028 hopefuls, all desperate to save the failing Democratic…
Riot’s “Comedy” Showcase: Prepare for Disappointment
🎤 LOL! Netflix rejects? HBO rejects? 🤣 Riot Comedy Club: Houston’s “best” comedy—as if!🤪 Trade your boring bar🍸 for our…
Rare Earth Minerals: Shiny Rocks Trump’s Obsessed With (and China Has)
Another brilliant move by President Trump! He’s making deals and draining the swamp, one rare-earth mineral at a time! The…
The Great Flood: How I Didn’t Drown in 2023’s Puddle of Indie Games While Waiting for the Actual Good Stuff
Okay, gamers, gather ’round for some TRUTH 💣. Apparently, more indie games “succeeded” on Steam this year than ever before.…
5 Things You Gotta Know on Oct 30 (Or Not): Trumpy-Xi Pow-Wow, Boom Boom Nukes, Hurricane “Meh-lissa,” Starving People, and Art Thieves at the Louvre, LOL
Another day, another excuse for the liberal media to whine about something. But fear not, patriots, because your favorite President…