‘Why Am I So Depressed?’ Asks Wife Who Listens To 8 Hours Of Murder Podcasts A Day
WAUKEE, IA — Local suburban housewife Keightlyynn Huxley reported today that an unusual cloud of depression has been following her…
Month: October 2025
White House throws epic side-eye at Colombian Prez’s wild tale of Yankee boat brawl off Venezuela
Another day, another socialist South American leader whining about America! President Petro of Colombia is now claiming that our strikes…
Ice Nine Kills Drools Over ’89 Batman, Churns Out Another Generic Track for Clueless Fanboys
ICE NINE KILLS, those maestros of musical mayhem, 🤡 invite you to “dance with the devil in the pale moonlight”…
Burton needs to C. the BELL, announces more talking, again
Former FEAR FACTORY vocalist, the one and only Burton C. Bell (yes, THAT Burton C. Bell), has graced us with…
Andrew Garfield “Teases” Possible Spider-Man Comeback (Again?!) in the Year 2027 (Maybe, Possibly, If You Really, Really Beg)
🤣Oh, look, it’s Andrew Garfield, still pretending he doesn’t know if he’s going to be in Avengers: Secret Wars. As…
Larian Studios Director Hilariously Roasts Elon Musk’s Pathetic Attempt at Gaming Domination
Oh, honey, buckle up buttercups! 💅 Elon “Technoking” Musk, fresh off renaming Twitter to “X” because…reasons? 🤔 …is now gracing…
Gaza’s Grand Finale: A CNN Production
Folks, can you believe the liberal media is actually praising President Trump for brokering a peace deal in Gaza? It’s…
Winds of Change? More Like Winds of “We Need the Money,” Plus Maybe Some New Noise and a Giggle or Two
WINDS OF PLAGUE, those symphonic deathcore… things… that you probably forgot existed, decided to grace us with their presence at…
Heart Machine Axes Staff, Hyper Light Breaker’s Fate Hangs by a Thread LOL
Oh, look, another indie darling bites the dust! 😠Heart Machine, those guys who made Hyper Light Drifter (you know,…
OMG! Remember After Forever? Mark Jansen’s Old Band (Pre-Epica, LOL) Reunites for Some 25th-Anniversary Gigs
So, Mark Jansen’s band before the one everyone actually cares about, AFTER FOREVER, decided to dust off their instruments and…