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Day: January 25, 2026

Where Government Funding Talks Stand After The Minneapolis Shooting (A Totally Normal Week For A Totally Normal Government That Definitely Has Its Priorities Straight)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Where Government Funding Talks Stand After The Minneapolis Shooting (A Totally Normal Week For A Totally Normal Government That Definitely Has Its Priorities Straight)

Big ElephantJanuary 25, 2026January 25, 2026

Schumer and his band of leftist marionettes are holding the entire government hostage again, folks, all to protect their precious,…

What Trump Officials Claimed About Alex Pretti — and What the Evidence Actually Shows
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

What Trump Officials Claimed About Alex Pretti — and What the Evidence Actually Shows

Big ElephantJanuary 25, 2026January 25, 2026

Liberal Media Meltdown: CNN Spins Wild Conspiracy Theories to Smear President Trump’s Border Patrol In a stunning display of derangement…

Trump’s Wall Gets a New Job as His Coalition Cracks Wide Open
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Wall Gets a New Job as His Coalition Cracks Wide Open

Big ElephantJanuary 25, 2026January 25, 2026

TRUMP ADMINISTRATION STANDS FIRM AS LIBERAL MINNESOTA MELTS DOWN OVER BORDER ENFORCEMENT The Trump Administration is doubling down on its…

Rams-Seahawks Game Preempted By ‘Everybody Hates Chris’ Rerun
The Onion

Rams-Seahawks Game Preempted By ‘Everybody Hates Chris’ Rerun

FinnJanuary 25, 2026

       The post Rams-Seahawks Game Preempted By ‘Everybody Hates Chris’ Rerun appeared first on The Onion.    The post Rams-Seahawks Game…

Babylon Bee

Man Who Just Climbed Skyscraper Kicks Himself After Seeing There Was An Elevator All Along

FinnJanuary 25, 2026

    TAIPEI CITY — After spending over an hour-and-a-half climbing to the top of the Taipei 101 skyscraper, Alex Honnold…

The Winter Apocalypse Is Here To Ruin Your Life With Annoying Cold, Slippery Doom Roads, and That White Crap Everywhere
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The Winter Apocalypse Is Here To Ruin Your Life With Annoying Cold, Slippery Doom Roads, and That White Crap Everywhere

Big ElephantJanuary 25, 2026January 25, 2026

LIBERAL SNFLAKES MELTDOWN: President Trump’s Perfect Winter Weather Exposes Climate Cult’s Hilarious Hypocrisy! Well, folks, the radical left is in…

ALICE COOPER, 77, CLAIMS HIS BEST SHOWS ARE STILL AHEAD OF HIM, PROBABLY FEATURING OXYGEN TANKS AND GERIATRIC SHOCK ROCK
Breaking, Music News

ALICE COOPER, 77, CLAIMS HIS BEST SHOWS ARE STILL AHEAD OF HIM, PROBABLY FEATURING OXYGEN TANKS AND GERIATRIC SHOCK ROCK

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 25, 2026January 25, 2026

Imagine being 77 years old, having more energy than a toddler on a sugar rush, and still pretending to be…

Boulder Library Officially Declares War on Hair with Extinction-Level Brush Off
Live

Boulder Library Officially Declares War on Hair with Extinction-Level Brush Off

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 25, 2026

The official guide to finding the most awkward networking opportunities at Boulder Public Library. On Sunday, Jan 25 from 1…

Live

Cathedral Concert: Amadeus Concert Ensemble

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 25, 2026

🚨 KNOXVILLE’S 100th ORGAN EXTRAVAGANZA 🚨 Brace yourselves for the Cathedral Concert Series’ 100th flex! They’re dusting off the massive…

When you gotta test your sister’s security guard skills… 😭
Videos

When you gotta test your sister’s security guard skills… 😭

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 25, 2026

Opinion: women should NOT be law enforcement or security. Get back in the kitchen Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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