‘Worst of circumstances’: CNN reports Cuba’s power grid is now run by a single hamster on a wheel
Oh no, not again! Cuba’s electrical grid just “mysteriously” collapsed—right after Trump cut off their oil supply. What a coincidence!…
Month: March 2026
Israel vs. Iran: The Ultimate Game of “Mine’s Bigger Than Yours” or Just a Really Confusing Soap Opera?
The US and Israel Are in a Bickering Sibling War With Iran The US and Israel have been duking it…
9 Clear Signs The Ayatollah Is Gay
In addition to reports that he was seriously injured in airstrikes at the onset of the U.S.-Iran conflict, new…
Travis Kelce Bummed Fiancée Signed Him Up For NFL Again
LEAWOOD, KS—Groaning at the thought of having to be somewhere on the weekend, Travis Kelce was reportedly feeling bummed Monday after…
Trump Demands Staff Get King Of Hormuz On Line
WASHINGTON—In a bid to regain access to the sea passage through which ships enter the Persian Gulf, President Donald…
‘Jim Crow 2.0!’ Shouts Chuck Schumer While Being Escorted Out Of Costco For Not Having Membership Card
ALEXANDRIA, VA — Senator Chuck Schumer was seen struggling with Costco security guards after failing to show his membership…
Slots were invented in 1894. People in 1893:
So they really had to wait a whole year just to gamble? Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in…
Trump Beefs Up Security Presence After Frighteningly Close Brush With JD Vance
WASHINGTON—Alarmed at the shocking lapse in protocol that nearly resulted in disaster, a shaken President Donald Trump ordered his…
Ayatollah Disappointed To Learn 72 Virgins Awaiting Him In Paradise Are All Women
TEHRAN — With rumors about his sexual preferences circulating amid the ongoing military conflict ravaging his country, the new…
Leaving Las Vegas – Watch the trailer for the new 4K restoration (now with 4000% more despair and Nicolas Cage’s existential crisis in stunning HD!)
Hey, you! Yes, YOU, the one who thinks Nicolas Cage’s Oscar is for screaming at bees. Get ready to relive…