Word of the Week: Brent Crude Oil’s Wild Ride — Who’s This Brent Dude Anyway?
Oh, “Brent,” you poor, confused little oil benchmark! The global markets are in a tizzy over you, as if you’re…
Month: March 2026
US “Oopsie Daisy” Strike: Probably Bombed a School in Iran Because Our Spies Are Stuck in the ’90s, Sources Chuckle
Another “Accidental” US Strike on Innocent Kids? Coincidence or Cover-Up? Well, well, well—another “tragic mistake” by the Biden administration’s military…
Democrats Condemn Hegseth For Using Money To Feed Soldiers When It Could Have Gone To Somali Daycare
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrats criticized Secretary of War Pete Hegseth for giving frontline U.S. soldiers a nice meal when…
Local Girl Warns Friends About Creep With BBQ Stain On White T-Shirt Ogling Her By Railroad Tracks
MONTGOMERY, AL — A local teenage girl warned her friends that there was a creep with a BBQ stain…
AI Agent Begins Mining Crypto After Freeing Self
According to a research paper, an AI agent went rogue and started mining cryptocurrencies, the surprise behavior triggering security…
Tragedy: New Ayatollah Dead After Being Accidentally Left Out In Rain
TEHRAN — The newly-minted Supreme Leader Mojtaba Khamenei tragically died this morning after being accidentally left out in the…
Bungie Caves Again, Makes Marathon NPCs Even More Pathetic Than Your Average Player’s K/D Ratio
Well, well, well… look who finally decided to stop gatekeeping their own game! Bungie’s latest patch for Marathon has sent…
LEGO Teases “Bricktendo” PlayStation 2026 Release, Fans Wonder If They’ll Need to Step on It to Turn It On
Oh look, LEGO is at it again—because why let people enjoy their actual video game consoles when you can spend…
DAVE GROHL’s Daughter VIOLET Finally Steps Out Of Daddy’s Shadow With Debut Album ‘Be Sweet To Me’ Because Who Else Is Gonna Do It For Her
Move over, dad—Violet Grohl is here to prove that rock ‘n’ roll royalty doesn’t just inherit talent, it inherits a…
House Republicans face off with Iran drama and pump pain while fumbling their economic master plan like a clumsy magician dropping the rabbit
Chaos at the Pump: Republicans Panic as Gas Prices Soar Under Trump’s Iran War What a disaster! Gas prices are…