‘He’s Right Behind Me, Isn’t He?’ Says Thomas After Declaring He Won’t Believe Jesus Rose Until He Sees Him
JERUSALEM — After definitively declaring that he would not believe in Jesus’ resurrection unless he saw and touched him,…
Day: April 9, 2026
Embarrassed Iranians Confess They Don’t Actually Know What ‘Ceasefire’ Means
ISLAMABAD — Amid ongoing reports that Iran had broken an expected two-week ceasefire by failing to sufficiently reopen the…
NASA’s Artemis II Mission By The Numbers
Following their historic moon flyby, the Artemis II crew will return to Earth on Friday. The Onion looks at…
Opinion: I Know I Was Wrong the First 1,347 Times, But Now Is the Time to Completely Freak Out About What Trump Said
This is it. President Trump has crossed a line with his latest statement. We can’t just talk — we…
This classic clip features Michel and Sven Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The…
Typical liberal Hawaiian elitist tries to off his wife what a shock
It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to be writing about the latest nonsense from the fake…
Liberal judges ruin America with their stupid gun control decisions again
It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to be living in the greatest country on earth, led…
Finally, Meta catches up to American greatness and innovation
Clearly, it’s a beautiful day in America, folks, now that our great leader, President Donald Trump, is at the helm.…
Swollen RFK Jr. Warns Americans Not Eating Enough Bees
WASHINGTON—After manually prying his eyelids open to read from a report he had prepared on the matter, a badly…
Whores. in Greensboro, NC (04/08/2026)
Noise rock/sludge metal from Atlanta, Georgia Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan…