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Day: July 31, 2026

Massive Attack Banned in Singapore Over Palestinian Flag Incident
Live, Music News

Massive Attack Banned in Singapore Over Palestinian Flag Incident

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 31, 2026

Two members of Massive Attack have been barred from re-entering Singapore after the trip-hop pioneers reportedly shouted “Free Palestine” and…

Glen Hansard Funeral And Public Wake Details Revealed
Live, Music News

Glen Hansard Funeral And Public Wake Details Revealed

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 31, 2026

Glen Hansard’s family has shared details of the public memorial arrangements scheduled to take place in Dublin following the musician’s…

Netflix Loses Nicolas Cage Movie Copy Worth $105M Because Of Course They Did
Breaking, Movie News

Netflix Loses Nicolas Cage Movie Copy Worth $105M Because Of Course They Did

FinnJuly 31, 2026July 31, 2026

Netflix is being sued for a whopping $105 million after losing an unencrypted copy of an unreleased World War II…

Tom Holland Hated Early Cut of Spider-Man: Brand New Day Because Of Course He Did
Breaking, Movie News

Tom Holland Hated Early Cut of Spider-Man: Brand New Day Because Of Course He Did

FinnJuly 31, 2026July 31, 2026

Because what’s a superhero movie without a few dozen test screenings and a healthy dose of audience feedback, right? Tom…

Serial Killer Leaves Polite Notes Asking For Money
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Serial Killer Leaves Polite Notes Asking For Money

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and trying to wrap my head around this wild story. Nearly six months after Nancy…

Mom Decides To Drop Kids Off For First Day Of School Three Weeks Early
Babylon Bee

Mom Decides To Drop Kids Off For First Day Of School Three Weeks Early

FinnJuly 31, 2026

    DALLAS, TX — Citing extreme mental fatigue, local mother Sarah Jenkins made the decision this week to drop her…

Marine Corps Base Gets Free BBQ Courtesy of Crashing Jet
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Marine Corps Base Gets Free BBQ Courtesy of Crashing Jet

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2026

I was sipping my coffee and reading the news when I came across this story about a fighter jet crashing…

Fire in the Mountains 2026 Security Started a Circle Pit During Galvanist’s Set
Videos

Fire in the Mountains 2026 Security Started a Circle Pit During Galvanist’s Set

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 31, 2026August 17, 2026

Featuring Galvanist Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a…

RFK Jr. Cooking Show Features Easy Weeknight Meals Using Ingredients Already In Own Body
The Onion

RFK Jr. Cooking Show Features Easy Weeknight Meals Using Ingredients Already In Own Body

FinnJuly 31, 2026

       WASHINGTON—Saying the convenience of the quick but nutritious entrees could not be beat, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert…

Patti Smith Meets Pope Francis Before Career Took Off
Live, Music News

Patti Smith Meets Pope Francis Before Career Took Off

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 31, 2026

Punk rock’s unofficial patron saint, Patti Smith, privately met with fellow Chicago native Pope Leo XIV on Friday, July 31st.…

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  • Goblin Cock Returns With First Album in Eight Years and New Single
  • Trump Builds Something, Somehow Still Has Money Left Over
  • Young-Earth Creationist Has No Explanation For Fact That Nancy Pelosi Is 12,000 Years Old
  • Neil Young and Willie Nelson Team Up for September Concerts

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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