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Month: July 2026

Illumination’s Latest Attempt to Brainwash Kids with Cute Animations and Overpaid Celebs Like Timothée Chalamet, Selena Gomez, and a Bunch of Other People You’ve Never Heard of Gets a Trailer
Breaking, Movie News

Illumination’s Latest Attempt to Brainwash Kids with Cute Animations and Overpaid Celebs Like Timothée Chalamet, Selena Gomez, and a Bunch of Other People You’ve Never Heard of Gets a Trailer

FinnJuly 7, 2026July 7, 2026

Breaking News: Illumination’s New Film “Not Alone” is Coming and We’re All Just a Little Too Excited 🚀😱 Okay, let’s…

Cable Guy Hits 4K Ultra HD In New Steelbook Release
Live

Cable Guy Hits 4K Ultra HD In New Steelbook Release

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 7, 2026

The 1996 dark comedy The Cable Guy is getting a 4K Ultra HD Steelbook edition, featuring Jim Carrey and Matthew…

Graham Platner’s Ex Details Alleged Abuse He Totally Didn’t Do Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Graham Platner’s Ex Details Alleged Abuse He Totally Didn’t Do Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about this Maine Senate candidate, Graham Platner, and I just can’t help but…

Tesla Takes Family Road Trip To New Depths Literally
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Tesla Takes Family Road Trip To New Depths Literally

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about this wild story involving a radiologist named Dharmesh Patel, who was accused…

Government Efficiently Shares Secrets While Trying To Kick People Out
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Government Efficiently Shares Secrets While Trying To Kick People Out

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about this lawsuit against the Trump administration, and folks, it’s a doozy. Apparently, the…

Agent Smith Meets a Metalhead
Videos

Agent Smith Meets a Metalhead

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 7, 2026

Black shirts. Hot weather. No regrets. Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan…

Trump and Cohen’s Bromance Rekindled by Random Text Message Miracle
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump and Cohen’s Bromance Rekindled by Random Text Message Miracle

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2026

So, I’m sitting here with my coffee, reading about Michael Cohen and President Donald Trump supposedly burying the hatchet, and…

Wife Says She Will Be Ready To Go In 45 Minutes, Plus Stoppage Time
Babylon Bee

Wife Says She Will Be Ready To Go In 45 Minutes, Plus Stoppage Time

FinnJuly 7, 2026

    LIMERICK, PA — In preparation for their Friday date night, local wife Allison Murphy informed her husband that she…

Joe Bonamassa Sets 2027 Winter US Tour Dates
Live, Music News

Joe Bonamassa Sets 2027 Winter US Tour Dates

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 7, 2026

Joe Bonamassa has announced a new slate of US winter tour dates set for 2027, establishing yet another busy stretch…

Flynn’s Legal Fees Apparently Worth It Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Flynn’s Legal Fees Apparently Worth It Again

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Former Trump adviser Michael Flynn has reached another settlement with the…

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Latest posts

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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