Princess Diana Releases Bombshell Memoir
LONDON—In a damning memoir filled with explosive claims about her brutal treatment by the House of Windsor, Diana, the…
Day: September 24, 2026
Heaven Confirms People Who Line The Dashboards Of Their Jeeps With Little Duckies Will Not Inherit The Kingdom Of God
HEAVEN — A representative of Heaven confirmed on Thursday that people who line the dashboards of their Jeeps with…
What A Noob! This So-Called ‘Pastor’ Didn’t Even Make Each Sermon Point Start With The Same Letter
OWASSO, OK — It was total amateur hour at First Baptist Church of Owasso as so-called “Pastor” Darren Parsons…
Record Executives Release Katseye For Daily Half Hour Of Yard Time
LOS ANGELES—Sounding a loud buzzer to signal that the pop stars were now permitted to leave the dance studio,…
Trump Prepares For Dinner With President Xi By Ordering Servants To Slaughter The Fattened Cat
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In preparation for an historic dinner with Chinese President Xi Jinping, President Donald Trump ordered White…
The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Robert Pattinson
Primetime star Robert Pattinson is receiving widespread acclaim for his portrayal of To Catch A Predator host Chris Hansen.…
Ozzy Still Alive Somehow In New Sabbath Concert Film
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news? 🤯 I mean, I’m not sure if I’m ready, but…
ASIA Still Exists Drops New Video For Arcadia Because You Clearly Needed This
Oh boy, are you guys ready for this? 🤯 Legendary English rock supergroup ASIA is back with a new studio…
Macklemore Launches Free Palestine Concert Series
Macklemore has announced a series of headline performances under the banner “Free Palestine” following his removal as an opener from…
Boys Noize Drops New Album 7LLVSION And Fresh Track
Boys Noize has announced a new album, 7LLVSION, out on November 6th via Ones and Zeros. He’s also shared the…