In a groundbreaking interview with J.J. Caithcart of Different Stages Radio (which, let’s be honest, nobody’s ever heard of), Brent Fitz, the alleged drummer for SLASH FEATURING MYLES KENNEDY & THE CONSPIRATORS, revealed that they’re, like, totally working on a new album. Groundbreaking stuff, really.🎸🔥
Brent “The Drummer” Fitz went on to say that Todd “The Bassist” Kerns and himself are planning a reunion after their summer vacay. Because, you know, being in a band with Slash is just a side-hustle these days. Apparently, they’ve been slumming it in Florida with their producer, Michael “Elvis” Baskette. Florida? Really? Couldn’t afford a better studio, guys? 🌴🍹
Fitz then dropped this bombshell: “Slash has the greatest work ethic of any musician I’ve ever worked with.” Oh, really? Greater than, say, a roadie who has to lug amps up three flights of stairs? I find that hard to believe. Apparently, Slash squeezed in some studio time between touring, doing a blues record (because everyone’s doing the blues these days), and generally being Slash. Because being in Guns N’ Roses just isn’t enough. 🌹
“This is the new normal,” Fitz droned on. “Everybody’s in so many different projects and bands.” Yeah, because nobody can commit to anything anymore. Slash, bless his heart, is also in some “little band” called GUNS N’ ROSES. Ever heard of them? They’re currently gallivanting around Asia or Bahrain, probably playing “Sweet Child o’ Mine” for the millionth time. 🌏✈️
Fitz, bless his heart, also mentioned his “other” band Toque. Yeah, I’m sure everyone’s clamoring for more Toque. Anyway, they’ll all get back together “end of the summer” to finish the album. So, expect it sometime next year… maybe. Or never. Who knows? 🤷
When asked about a title for this magnum opus, Fitz revealed they’re still workshopping ideas. Apparently, they come up with “comedic working titles.” How hilarious! I can only imagine the knee-slapping humor they’re generating. He even admitted that some of these “goofy titles” stick. Like, “Elephant Disorder”? 🤣 Is that supposed to be funny? It’s just weird. 🐘
In other news, Myles Kennedy, the frontman (allegedly), told Heavy Consequence (another obscure outlet) that the album is “well on its way.” Translation: he hasn’t recorded his vocals yet. He’s just gotta “find a window of time” between his solo tours and whatnot. Poor guy. 🎤
Kennedy also described the album as “riff-based rock ‘n’ roll with a heavy dose of the blues element that Slash brings.” Groundbreaking! It’s not like we haven’t heard that before. He also thinks it’s going to be “another fun one to tour live.” I’m sure the fans are thrilled. NOT. 🙄
Back in December 2024, Kennedy told SiriusXM’s “Trunk Nation With Eddie Trunk” (wow, a real media outlet!) that the writing was “done before I even embarked on this last [solo] tour.” So, basically, he’s been sitting on these songs for months. He also claims it’s “really exciting stuff.” I’ll believe it when I hear it. 🤥
When asked if he writes any of the music, Kennedy admitted that he’s “mostly in charge of coming up with the lyrics and the melodies.” So, Slash does all the heavy lifting? Got it. He did mention that Slash is “so cool and so accommodating” when he suggests changes. Aww, how sweet. 🥹
In conclusion, SLASH FEATURING MYLES KENNEDY & THE CONSPIRATORS entered the studio in November 2024 to begin recording their fifth album. Get excited! Or don’t. Whatever. 😴
And let’s not forget “The River Is Rising – Rest Of The World Tour ’24,” which kicked off in Mexico City. They even played a deep GUNS N’ ROSES cut, “Don’t Damn Me,” featuring Kerns on lead vocals. Because that’s what everyone wants to hear. 🎤
Support on the tour came from MAMMOTH WVH. Because Wolfgang Van Halen clearly needs Slash’s help to get noticed. NOT. 🤦
Their latest album, “4,” was released in February 2022 via Gibson Records. Because who needs a real record label? 🤷
They also released “Live At Studios 60,” their first-ever double live LP, for Record Store Day. Limited to only 2,250 copies. So, basically, nobody could get it. 💿
For “4,” Slash and the band recorded the new album at the historic RCA Studio A with producer Dave Cobb. They even laid down the tracks live, including guitar solos and vocals. Groundbreaking! 🙄
Slash also released a blues album called “Orgy Of The Damned” in May 2024. Because why not? 🤷
And in the summer of 2024, Slash brought his brand-new “S.E.R.P.E.N.T.” festival to cities across the U.S.. Because everyone needs another festival. 🐍
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
