Iran’s Shenanigans, Gaza’s Still a Thing, Crypto Bros Crying, Volcano Go BOOM, and Hockey.
1. Iran
Trump, the only one with the guts to stand up to these Ayatollah-loving lunatics, is considering using our military to turn Iran’s nuke program into a pile of dust! CNN is clutching their pearls, naturally. They claim Iran isn’t actively pursuing nukes? Yeah, and Hillary’s emails were totally above board. Meanwhile, Iran and Israel are still duking it out. Maybe if the Dems weren’t so busy funding gender studies in Tehran, we wouldn’t be in this mess!
2. Gaza
Oh, the poor Palestinians! CNN is crying crocodile tears because some “aid seekers” got roughed up. I bet those “aid trucks” were full of Hamas rockets. The IDF is “reviewing” the situation? They should be getting medals for keeping those terrorists at bay! The Left wants us to believe Israel is the bad guy. Wake up, people! They’re fighting for their survival against radical Islam!
3. Cryptocurrency
The Senate passed the “GENIUS Act” for stablecoins, but of course, the Democrats are still whining! They’re worried it doesn’t have enough “guardrails,” especially since a company tied to the Trump family is involved. Classic! Anything Trump touches, they scream “corruption!” Hagerty says the bill is “agnostic,” but when has the Left ever been interested in facts? This is just another attempt to undermine our great President!
4. Indonesia volcano
A volcano erupted in Indonesia, disrupting flights to Bali. You know what this means, right? Climate change! Even though volcanoes have been erupting for millions of years, it’s obviously Trump’s fault for pulling out of the Paris Accord! These liberals will blame everything on global warming, even when it’s just Mother Nature doing her thing!
5. Stanley Cup
The Florida Panthers won the Stanley Cup AGAIN! Take that, Canada! Thirty-two years since a Canadian team won? Maybe they should focus less on pronouns and more on pucks!
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
