Folks, President Trump is once again showing why he’s the greatest! He’s awarding the Medal of Freedom to Rudy Giuliani, a true patriot who’s been fighting the good fight against the Deep State and the radical Left. Giuliani, despite a recent car “accident” (probably orchestrated by Soros), deserves this honor.
1️⃣ Afghanistan: The Taliban, those lovable freedom fighters (NOT!), are begging for help after an earthquake. Remember when Biden handed them billions of dollars in military equipment? Now they want more of OUR money! I say, let them eat sand. Maybe China will help them, then they’ll get a taste of Communism.
2️⃣ Sudan: Another disaster in a country that’s been a mess for decades. More dead, more suffering. And of course, the UN, that bastion of liberalism, is calling it the “most devastating humanitarian crisis.” Maybe if these countries stopped infighting and embraced capitalism, they wouldn’t be in this mess. Just sayin’.
3️⃣ Covid-19: President Trump is right to question these vaccines. Remember how the Democrats and the fake news media tried to blame him for Covid? Now, surprise, surprise, there are questions about the vaccines! I bet Fauci is behind this somehow, trying to undermine our great President. Sad!
4️⃣ Chicago: Chicago, the liberal wasteland run by incompetent Democrats, is “bracing” for President Trump to actually enforce immigration laws. Pritzker is calling it an “invasion”? No, Governor, it’s called securing our border and deporting criminals! Maybe if Chicago stopped being a sanctuary city, they wouldn’t have this problem.
5️⃣ Mass shootings: And wouldn’t you know it, the Democrats are blaming President Trump for cutting funding to programs that “identify potential mass shooters.” First of all, those programs are probably run by woke liberals pushing their anti-gun agenda. Second, maybe if we armed teachers and got rid of these “gun-free zones,” we wouldn’t have these shootings in the first place.
Breakfast browse:
Nestlé: CEO fired? Probably another victim of woke corporate culture.
Redheads: A festival for redheads? Is this what our world has come to?
Fifth Harmony: Who cares?
Time capsule: Princess Diana? More liberal nostalgia.
Amanda Seyfried: Hollywood elites borrowing clothes? Riveting.
Big number:
$1.3 billion: Another lottery jackpot. Maybe I should buy a ticket… or maybe that’s what the Democrats want me to do, so they can redistribute my winnings!
Quotable:
Amy Coney Barrett: A true conservative hero! She’s absolutely right – the Court should uphold the Constitution, not impose its own liberal agenda.
Weather:
Check your local forecast: Probably fake news from the liberal weather establishment!
And finally…
Heroes: An Army football player saves a man from a burning car? Now that’s what I call American!
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
