🚨 ATTENTION SHOPPERS: Prepare your wallets for the ultimate “Moose Knuckles” experience! 🚨
Register ONLY ONE ticket per person—yes, your alter-ego is cancelled. Duplicate orders? Vanished. The “Moose Knuckles” host and the “Sample Sale Guys” are watching. One ticket equals one human (no clones). Bring a government-issued photo ID that matches your ticket, or stay home. You may attend at any time during the opening hours, but Management reserves the right to refuse entry (probably if you look at them funny). NO food 🍔, NO beverages 🥤, and absolutely NO cash 💵 (Credit/Debit only, and they need to see your ID before you pay). Mandatory free coat check inside, plus bag inspections on exit. All sales are final—no returns (cry about it later).
📍 WHEN & WHERE:
Tuesday February 3rd 8am-8pm
Wednesday February 4th 8am-8pm
Thursday February 5th 8am-6pm
METROPOLITAN PAVILION (2nd Floor)
125 WEST 18TH ST, NEW YORK
SAMPLE SALE GUYS
www.thesamplesaleguys.com
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Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.
Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.
Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤
⚖️ ENTER THE LEGALIZER
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