I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth’s latest adventure, and folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems Hegseth boarded a Navy ship for a routine visit with sailors, but things took a turn when he noticed multiple sailors sporting beards, apparently violating his stricter policy restricting beards in most instances. I mean, who doesn’t love a good beard, right? But I guess Hegseth is not a fan. He issued a memo last year tightening restrictions on beards and medical-based exemptions, and now he’s cracking down on those who don’t comply.
The trip was marred by facial hair, and Hegseth left the ship wondering if the Pentagon rank-and-file paid attention to his beard policy and other policy changes he has made to the workforce. I can just imagine him walking around the ship, scrutinizing every sailor’s face for any sign of stubble. It’s like he’s on a mission to rid the military of all things hairy.
Shortly after the visit in June, Pentagon officials held a series of meetings in which they told subordinates that Hegseth was closely monitoring agencies’ progress on the beard policy and other workplace changes. They even sent out emails referencing the defense secretary’s requests for action to be taken. I guess you could say Hegseth is taking his beard policy very seriously.
Pentagon spokesman Sean Parnell said in a statement that Hegseth “maintains the highest expectations for our service members to uphold the professional standards of appearance, fitness, and discipline that define our warfighting force.” I’m not sure if that includes being clean-shaven, but I’m guessing it’s a good idea to err on the side of caution if you’re a sailor.
The changes that Hegseth made to Pentagon EEO policies include requirements that workplace complaints be dealt with in a timely manner and that the subject of a complaint be presumed innocent unless evidence showed otherwise. It’s all about creating a culture of excellence and readiness, or so it seems. But some critics say the policy fails to adequately account for a painful medical condition that disproportionately affects Black men, known as pseudofolliculitis barbae (PFB).
Hegseth’s memo argued that beards were a national security issue because they could prevent service members from safely donning protective equipment in response to chemical or biological threats. I’m not sure if that’s a legitimate concern, but I suppose it’s better to be safe than sorry. The Army has done extensive studies on the effects of beards on gas masks, and they’ve approved exemptions in the past. Maybe Hegseth should take a look at those studies before cracking down on beards.
In September, Hegseth gave a speech to hundreds of top military officers, hammering home the need for change on things like physical fitness and stricter grooming standards. He even said “no more beardos,” which I’m guessing is not exactly a rallying cry for the troops. The issue of threats to the homeland and deterring China, he said at the time, was “another speech for another day.” I suppose that’s one way to prioritize your talking points.
The day before the US and Israel began their war with Iran in February, Hegseth released a video on social media about the Scouting America (formerly Boy Scouts of America) and his “deep concerns” about diversity, equity, and inclusion efforts within the organization. I’m not sure what that has to do with anything, but I suppose it’s just another example of Hegseth’s… let’s call it his “unique” leadership style.
In conclusion, it seems like Hegseth is on a mission to rid the military of beards and promote a culture of excellence and readiness. Whether or not that’s a good thing remains to be seen, but one thing’s for sure: it’s been an entertaining ride so far. And who knows, maybe one day we’ll see a beard-free military – but I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you. After all, as the saying goes, you can’t fix a bad haircut, but you can always grow a beard to cover it up.
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
