Ohtani Generously Donates 7 At-Bats’ Worth Of Salary To California Fire Victims
LOS ANGELES, CA — As the surrounding areas of Los Angeles faced the daunting task of rebuilding after the devastation…
Month: January 2025
Babylon Bee Fashion Tip: Ladies, Choose Your Rattiest Set Of Pajamas To Wear To The Airport
U.S. — Airports can be hard, especially when you’re a woman trying to decide on the best outfit to wear…
Gen Z: Here Are 15 Things You Can Do With Your Time Now That TikTok Is Banned
TikTok has been officially banned over concerns of improper data collection and the spread of propaganda from the Chinese-owned app.…
😱 Monkey Business: BLM Sees Racism in a new Osgood Perkins horror!
Well, folks, it seems the perpetually offended have found their newest target, and this time, it’s not a historical statue,…
Gen Z Upset About TikTok Ban For 4.3 Seconds, Which Is The Maximum Amount Of Time They Can Focus On Something Thanks To TikTok
U.S. — After the U.S. Supreme Court upheld a ban on the Chinese social media platform TikTok, Gen Z managed…
Senate Committee Sticks To Softball Questions For Shotgun-Toting Kristi Noem
WASHINGTON, D.C. — South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem was expected to be approved as Trump’s Secretary of Homeland Security following…
Success: After 20 Years Of Adulthood, Man Finally Able To Take A Sip Of Black Coffee Without Grimacing
GRANDVIEW, MO — A local man reached a historic life milestone today, as after 25 years of adulthood, he was…
Pros And Cons Of Buying Greenland
Read MoreThe OnionPresident-elect Donald Trump has expressed his interest in buying Greenland, an idea he first floated back in 2019.…
Shocking Photos Emerge Of Pete Davidson Dating Marylin Monroe In 1958
HOLLYWOOD, CA — As crews continued to sift through the rubble of fire-ravaged neighborhoods in the Los Angeles area, one…
Kendrick Lamar Hit With Drive-By Summons Outside L.A. Nightclub
Read MoreThe OnionLOS ANGELES—In a chaotic scene that saw young people screaming and ducking for cover in the moments after…