Palestinians Return To Devastated Northern Gaza
Read MoreThe OnionHundreds of thousands of Palestinians streamed into Gaza’s most heavily destroyed area after Israel opened the north for…
Month: January 2025
AirLyft Now Available For Plus-Sized Customers
U.S. — In an attempt to more effectively cater to underserved segments of the population, ridesharing company Lyft introduced a…
‘I Don’t Really Care, Margaret’ Merchandise Sales Expected To Exceed $1 Billion Annually
U.S. — Meme-related revenue was predicted to hit an all-time high by the end of the year, as industry experts…
The First Amendment: Myth VS. Fact
Read MoreThe OnionThe post The First Amendment: Myth VS. Fact appeared first on The Onion. FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind…
🚫«Alien: Earth» Leaks Online — Is This the Shortest Series Ever? 🤯
In a hilarious twist of fate that no one saw coming, FX and Hulu accidentally leaked the entirety of their…
Democrats Warn Trump Policies Will Lead To Skyrocketing Unemployment Among Child Traffickers
U.S. — As people on both sides of the immigration debate continued to grow louder, Democrats warned America that President…
The Most Banned Books In The U.S.
Read MoreThe OnionBanning a book means making it less accessible by removing it from public libraries or dropping it from…
President Trump Pledges $100 Billion In Aid For Babylon Bee To Develop A Third Joke
WASHINGTON, D.C. — It’s too much winning: President Donald J. Trump has just announced a generous $100 billion in aid…
The Onion’s Streaming Guide
Read MoreThe OnionThe Sex Lives Of College Girls (Season 3), Max: The hit show is back to answer last season’s…
Hero: Illinois Governor Vows To Eat An Extra-Large Deep-Dish Meat Lover’s Pizza Every Day Until Trump Is Stopped
SPRINGFIELD, IL — Illinois governor Jay Robert Pritzker has taken a firm stance against Trump’s recent deportations by vowing to…