‘We Got Her’: British Police Arrest Dangerous 80 Year Old Who Spread Butter Using A Knife
LONDON — British authorities took one of the U.K.’s most dangerous individuals off the streets, with police announcing the arrest…
Month: March 2025
🎸 “Up From The Bottom” by Linkin Park: How the New Song Exploded in Adult Stores! 🔥
In the world of music, something incredible has happened — Linkin Park’s new song “Up From The Bottom” has become…
Snake Getting Twirled Around Like Lasso Never Gonna Live This Down
Read MoreThe OnionSARTELL, MN—Feeling a deep sense of embarrassment wash over his long, scaly body, a local snake getting twirled…
9 Dangerous Weapons Being Confiscated By British Police
The British Constable is on the prowl, and he is rounding up dangerous weapons by the minute to keep England…
Political Neutrality Of PBS Questioned After New Footage Of Elmo Keying Cybertruck
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Hearings on Capitol Hill took a dramatic turn today, with PBS’s bipartisanship being questioned due to newly…
Cardinals Begin Placing Stickers On Vatican Relics They Want When Pope Francis Dies
Read MoreThe OnionVATICAN CITY—With many remarking that they’d had their eyes on the holy artifacts since they first saw them,…
‘Snow White’ Early Favorite To Dominate Oscars
HOLLYWOOD, CA — Disney’s latest offering, Snow White, is already garnering Oscar buzz after performing terribly at the box office…
Furious Trump Cancels ‘Atlantic’ Subscription After 48 Years
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—In protest of the publication’s coverage of the Signal breach, President Donald Trump announced Thursday that he had…
![TV Show Wraps Up After A Good Run With A Satisfying Finale Leaving No Loose Ends [Satire]](https://jackal.today/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/67e584ffdbe1e67e584ffdbe1f-mgqyjd.jpeg)
TV Show Wraps Up After A Good Run With A Satisfying Finale Leaving No Loose Ends [Satire]
U.S. — Defying all odds, a popular television show has wrapped up with a satisfying finale that leaves no loose…
Food Stamps: Myth Vs. Fact
Read MoreThe OnionMore than 41 million Americans receive monthly benefits through the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, also known as food…